The Adventures of Negropolis and Madman Mason (with Flippers too!) - Episode 11: What's In a Name?

 

The Adventures of Negropolis and Madman Mason (with Flippers too!) - Episode 11: What's In a Name?

The Commissioner's office is adorned with festive yet austere decorations. Commissioner Cratchit is seated behind a desk piled high with ledgers. Ebenezer Scrooge stands by the window, peering out suspiciously. Ms. Sweetins, the ever-efficient exexutive assistant, jots notes on her clipboard. The door bursts open as Negropolis, Madman Mason, and Ace MacDougal enter, with Flippers the baby penguin waddling after them.

Negropolis: [adjusting his cape dramatically] Finally, the pinnacle of civilization—the North Pole. I trust you’ve prepared appropriately for my arrival?

Madman Mason: [stuffing a candy cane into his mouth] Oooh, do we get cookies? I’m starving!

Ace MacDougal: [with his thick Scottish accent] By the looks o' this place, laddies, we're nae in Kansas anymore. Or Dundee, fer that matter.

Commissioner Cratchit: [clears his throat] Gentlemen—welcome. I trust your journey was... uneventful?

Negropolis: [waves dismissively] Uneventful? Hardly. Don't you remember us telling you of the harrowing adventure we took to get here?

Madman Mason: [laughing] Ah yes, right you were the ones who didn't use the snow globes to get here by the magic gates ...

Negropolis glowers at Madman Mason and is about to make a snarky comment ...

Scrooge: [snarling] Enough! Sit down! We have important matters to discuss. [his eyes narrow as he notices Flippers] And, uh, keep that—thing—off-camera. We don’t need another “viral incident.”

Madman Mason: [protectively scoops up Flippers] Hey! Flippers is the glue of this team. He is our emotional support Penguin!

Ace MacDougal: [laughing] 

Ms. Sweetins: [without looking up] Shall we get back on track, gentlemen?

Commissioner Cratchit: [exasperated] Yes, thank you, Ms. Sweetins. Now, to the matter at hand. Mr. Negropolis, you and Mr. Mason here—[he gestures vaguely in Madman’s direction]—are to be a tag team.

Negropolis: [horrified] A tag team? I beg your pardon? This mission was meant to showcase my superior wrestling talents. My solo talents!

Madman Mason: [grinning] Aww, don’t worry, Neggie. I’ll let you be in the ring first so you can get beat up before tagging me in.

Negropolis: [muttering] You wouldn’t last five minutes without me. This is a travesty.

Ace MacDougal: [slapping Negropolis on the back] Ach, quit yer greetin’. I’m yer manager, laddie. I’ll keep ye from makin’ a fool of yerself.

Scrooge: [gruffly] Your first appearance will be this week on Polar Power. You’ll cut a promo introducing yourselves and then face the Three Amigos in your debut match. Any objections?

Negropolis: [folding his arms] Several.

Madman Mason: [excitedly] Oh boy, our first match! We need costumes. And a catchphrase! And a team name!

Ace MacDougal: [smirking] Aye, let’s call ourselves “Three Stooges Plus a Penguin.”

Negropolis: [glowering] Over my dead body.

Commissioner Cratchit: That’s settled then. Off you go! 

The trio exits the office, with Madman Mason accidentally knocking over a candy cane display on the way out. Flippers chirps gleefully as the door closes.

Commissioner Cratchit: [muttering under his breath] Yeah, we send Yeti to Count Vlad  and he sends us these two clowns.

Scrooge: [turning sharply] What was that, Cratchit?

Commissioner Cratchit: [clearing his throat] Nothing, sir. [Ms. Sweetins smirks but says nothing]

Back at the Hotel Room

The room is modest but comfortable, with mismatched furniture and a small table in the corner. Negropolis is pacing furiously swinging his hands as he mutters, adding to his imposing figure. Madman Mason is sprawled on the bed tossing a rubber ball for Flippers, who waddles after it eagerly. Ace MacDougal sits in an armchair, munching on a candy bar and watching the chaos unfold.

Negropolis: [gesturing wildly] This is ridiculous! Forced into a tag team... with him? [points dramatically at Madman] I’m the epitome of greatness—a singles wrestler! Not part of some comedy duo!

Madman Mason: [grinning] Aww, Neggie, don’t be like that. We’re gonna be the best tag team ever! Like pancakes and syrup—or popcorn and butter!

Negropolis: [glares] Stop calling me Neggie.

Madman Mason: [shrugs] What? It’s cute. Like Flippers here! [picks up the penguin] He’s our emotional support penguin.

Negropolis: [grimacing] Emotional support? That thing can barely support itself! Keep it in its cage during the match and out of sight.

Madman Mason: [horrified] Cage?! No way, buddy! Flippers belongs right beside us. He’s family.

Ace MacDougal: [snickering] Aye, but a penguin motif might nae quite fit wi' the roles we're takin’. We’re supposed to cause devastation an’ mayhem—no prancin’ about wi' cuddly birds.

Madman Mason: [hugging Flippers] Hey, he’s vicious! Look at him! [Flippers flaps his tiny wings adorably, chirping innocently] Uh... okay, maybe not.

Negropolis: [muttering] I’ll need a miracle to survive this team.

Madman Mason: [perking up] Hey! What about Minnesota Demolition Crew? That sounds cool, right?

Negropolis: [deadpan] We’re not from Minnesota. Try again.

Madman Mason: [thinking] Okay... uh, Warriors of the Road!

Negropolis: [grimacing] No.

Madman Mason: [excitedly] Midnight Rockers!

Negropolis: [snapping] No! We can’t dance, and we won’t try.

Ace MacDougal: [chiming in] Aye, lads, enough. We’re here to cause devastation, mischief, and mayhem. [pauses dramatically] How about Masters of Mischief?

Negropolis: [tilting his head thoughtfully] Close... but not quite. [smirking] Masters of Mayhem.

Madman Mason: [enthusiastically] Oh, I love it! Neggie, you’ve done it again!

Negropolis: [glowering] Stop calling me Neggie.

Ace MacDougal: [laughing] Right then—Masters of Mayhem it is. Now, onto yer promo. I’ll do the talkin’, since I’ve the gift o' gab.

Negropolis: [smirking] Very few words from me. Mystique is my greatest weapon.

Ace MacDougal: [nodding] Perfect. We’ll paint the picture: Madman’s fresh outta the asylum, and you’re a disciple o' the Negronomicon—a bringer o' death an’ destruction. [pauses] We’re here tae wreak havoc, nae spread cheer.

Madman Mason: [nodding vigorously] Yeah! No smiles—except from Flippers. [holds Flippers up] Look at him. He’s terrifying.

Flippers chirps and wobbles, looking absolutely adorable. Negropolis groans while Ace chuckles.

Negropolis: [sternly] Flippers stays in his cage. End of discussion.

Madman Mason: [with innocent curiosity] Neggie, what happened to your face anyway?

Negropolis: [stares incredulously] What do you mean?

Madman Mason: [innocently] Well, why do you have a black skull face?

Negropolis: [exasperated] It’s a mask, you dolt.

Madman Mason: [frowning] But you always wear it...

Negropolis: [deadpan] It’s kayfabe, you dolt.

Madman Mason: [confused] I don’t wear my mask all the time.

Negropolis: [sneering] Then I guess you’re not as dedicated to the business as I am.

Madman stares at him, utterly perplexed. The room falls silent as Ace bursts into laughter. They finally resume rehearsing their promo as the scene fades.