Aired - July 25, 2025
SHOW OPENING
[As the commercial fades to black, Polar Power begins with its opening segment …]
(Cue dramatic visuals—icy winds swirling, northern lights glowing, and a deep, powerful voice-over.)
"From the frozen depths of the North… where strength is forged in the heart of winter… This is NPCW's POLAR POWER!"
(Quick montage of NPCW’s fiercest competitors in action—brutal slams, aerial maneuvers, and intense rivalries.)
Spotlighted Moments:
Rudolph squaring off against the four members of Monster Bash – A tense stare-down as Frankenstein’s Monster, Kong, Ogre, and Dragon King slowly advance. Rudolph clenches his fists, preparing to take on the monsters alone.
Big Bad Wolf fighting Nutcracker Captain – Slow-motion impact of Wolf slamming Nutcracker Captain, securing the Northern Lights Championship victory.
Jack Frost and Frosty facing off in a match during their long standing feud.
Blonde Bombshells vs. Wicked Witch & The Coven – Dorothy, Goldie, and Alice wield kendo sticks, expertly fighting off an attack from Wicked Witch, Wicked Willow, Morrigan, and Grizelda in a fierce battle of tactics vs. power.
Mrs. Claus vs. Sugar Plum Fairy – A clash of styles, showcasing Mrs. Claus’s raw power against Sugar Plum Fairy’s aerial agility, ending in a high-risk mid-air counter.
Robin Hood dodging a strike and countering with precision – A showcase of quick reflexes and tactical skill, proving that speed can overcome strength.
Krampus brutalizing an opponent – Heavy strikes, power slams, and ruthless control, proving that no one is safe from his merciless offense.
Santa pinning Belsnickel for the NPCW Championship.
(Heavy drumbeat intensifies—camera cuts to a sweeping view of the roaring crowd.)
"Tonight, the cold doesn’t slow them down—it fuels their fight! Champions will rise, challengers will clash, and the road to glory begins right here!"
"This… is POLAR POWER!"
Brought to you by Scrooge and Marley’s Counting House …
THE DRAWING OF THE PRESENTS
North Star Tag Team Title Draw
Backstage, a holiday-themed set sparkles with tinsel, oversized candy canes, and a blinking “SCROOGE’S SURPRISE SACKS” game show sign. Four piles of presents sit neatly labeled, the green pile front and center. Festive yet chaotic holiday music blares.
[Camera pans to Ebeneezer Scrooge, decked out in a gaudy red sequined tuxedo, gold bowtie, and glittering top hat, holding a microphone shaped like a peppermint stick.]
SCROOGE (grinning maniacally):
“Ho-ho-HOPE you're ready to be disappointed! Welcome to the most chaotic gift exchange since the ghosts of Christmas Past gave me trauma! It's Scrooge’s Surprise Sacks! Tonight, ten of NPCW’s finest tag teams will reach into the green pile o’ greed for a chance at the North Star Tag Team Titles! But beware... not every gift is jolly! Some of them? Are straight-up coal-hearted!”
Crowd pops as each team enters one by one, stepping up to the towering pile of green presents. Teams draw in random order. Suspense builds as the gifts are opened one by one...
Draw Order & Results
Crimson Viper & Dark Duchess
Dark Duchess dramatically unwraps the gift with clawed fingers…
Scrooge: “Oooooh! Looks like someone’s been naughty—it's a LUMP OF COAL! Off to the fireplace with you!”Tinsel Twins
The bubbly pair unwrap in perfect unison. Coal.
Scrooge: “And that’s a wrap—literally! All sparkle, no gold!”Moonshadow & Moon Silver
They open their box slowly, mystically… only to reveal coal.
Scrooge: “You reached for the stars, but Santa says... try again next year, moonbeamers!”Mother Earth & Gretel
Gretel rips open the package while Earth stands serene. It’s coal.
Scrooge (sniffing): “The environment loses again. Just like my investments in gingerbread real estate!”Malice & Regina
Malice practically tears through the wrapping like a beast. Coal again.
Scrooge: “Oof. Ruthless aggression, zero reward. Story of my dating life!”Maid Marion & Mina Harker
They unwrap methodically. Marion prays. Mina scoffs.
Coal.
Scrooge: “One serves the people, the other drinks them—but neither gets a title shot!”Morrigan & Wicked Willow
Wicked magic vibes... but the spell fizzles. Coal.
Scrooge: “Double, double, toil and trouble... y’all get NOTHING but fireplace rubble!”Lilith & Sugar Plum Fairy
Sugar Plum daintily opens while Lilith just growls. Coal.
Scrooge: “No sweet tooth satisfaction today—guess you’re on the Naughty List Sugar-Free Edition!”Athena & Lady Frost
Athena hammers the gift open like a war drum. Lady Frost chills nearby. Coal.
Scrooge: “That’s a frosty reception! You may be Olympian, but this ain’t your game!”Mrs. Claus & Pearl
Mrs. Claus opens the box with a twinkle in her eye. Pearl is biting her nail.
Scrooge (gasping): “WHAT’S THIS?! A GOLDEN TICKET! Oh jingle my bells—we have our first title contenders, folks! A holiday miracle from Mother Christmas herself!”
Mrs. Claus does a proud nod. Pearl squeals in delight.
SCROOGE (cackling):
“So there you have it, folks! Nine lumps of coal and one golden ticket! It’ll be Mrs. Claus and Pearl challenging the Blonde Bombshells for the North Star Tag Titles! Don’t miss it—or I’ll haunt you myself!”
Queen of the North Title Draw (plus Bonus Ladies Match)
Backstage, the camera pans across a new set — this time bathed in icy blues and shimmering silvers. The pile of blue gift boxes sparkles beneath icicle lights. A glittery snow machine pumps softly in the background, giving the entire space a frosty glow.
The “Scrooge’s Surprise Sacks” sign now glows frosty blue as Ebeneezer Scrooge struts into frame, now in a silver blazer and fur-lined scarf, mic in hand.
SCROOGE (with flair):
“Brrrr! It’s colder than my accountant’s heart in here, which means it’s time for the Queen of the North title draw! One golden ticket means a shot at the crown against Goldie Locks herself! BUT WAIT—there are two extra chilly silver tickets in the mix, and those poor popsicles will have to thaw each other out in a special bonus match TONIGHT!”
1. Wicked Witch –
She lets out a hiss, rips the box open… coal.
Scrooge: “Witch, please. Back to your broom closet!”
2. Maid Marion –
Carefully unties the ribbon. Coal.
Scrooge: “Your honor is intact. Your title hopes are not!”
3. Moonshadow –
She gives the box a solemn shake, opens it… coal.
Scrooge: “Darkness falls… and so do your chances!”
4. Lillith –
Rips it open with fury. Coal.
Scrooge: “Hot hands, cold luck!”
5. Furiosa Ardilla –
Spins the box like a roulette wheel. Coal.
Scrooge: “Lady Luck just bit you in the tail!”
6. Gretel –
Smirks and yanks open the lid—SILVER TICKET!
Scrooge (gasping): “Oh sweet schnitzel! GRETEL scores the first silver ticket! One half of tonight’s bonus match has been baked fresh!”
Gretel holds the ticket high, licking her lips with dangerous delight.
7. Crimson Viper, Queen of Hearts –
Snakes through the wrapping. Coal.
Scrooge: “Sorry, your majesty. The deck was stacked!”
8. Morrigan –
Opens the box with eerie calm. Coal.
Scrooge: “The spirits have spoken—and they said no shot!”
9. Twinkle –
Hops excitedly, sparkles flying. Coal.
Scrooge: “You twinkled, you twirled… but no title tilt, sugar plum!”
10. Mother Earth –
Opens gently, as if tending to a seedling—SILVER TICKET!
Scrooge: “OH FERTILIZE ME SILLY—it’s a second silver ticket! Mother Earth vs Gretel tonight in an elemental collision!”
Earth bows gracefully as Gretel flashes her a wicked grin from across the room.
11. Wicked Willow –
Unwraps slowly... Coal.
Scrooge: “Your branches may reach far, but not into the title picture!”
12. Sparkle –
Shimmies the box open. Coal.
Scrooge: “Still fabulous. Still unqualified!”
13. Dark Duchess, Queen of Spades –
Glares, opens box. Coal.
Scrooge: “Another queen dethroned! That’s three royal flops in one draw!”
14. Lady Frost, Snow Queen –
She breathes on the box, frosting it over before opening—coal.
Scrooge: “Frostbitten and forgotten!”
15. Mina Harker –
Stares at the box like it owes her blood. Coal.
Scrooge: “Not even Dracula could charm a ticket out of this!”
16. Sugar Plum Fairy –
Dances, opens… coal.
Scrooge: “Still sweet. Still sidelined.”
17. Athena –
Steps forward like a goddess descending Olympus. Tears the box open—GOLDEN TICKET!
Scrooge (nearly choking):
“HOLY HELIOS—THE GODDESS CLAIMS THE GOLD! ATHENA is going for the crown! And Goldie Locks just felt a thunderbolt to her golden locks!”
Athena raises her hand high, the golden ticket glimmering in her grasp. The crowd erupts.
SCROOGE (closing with dramatic flair):
“There you have it! ATHENA will face Goldie Locks for the Queen of the North title… and GRETEL will battle MOTHER EARTH later tonight in a Silver Showdown! The gifts are gone, the fate is sealed, and my rent is still unpaid! Stay tuned, misfits!”
NPCW Tag Team Title Draw (and Bonus Tag Team Match)
Backstage, the atmosphere shifts to high-energy holiday chaos. Red gift boxes are stacked high in the center of the “Scrooge’s Surprise Sacks” stage, surrounded by strings of blinking candy cane lights. Each tag team stands poised, eyes locked on the prizes inside.
Ebeneezer Scrooge bursts onto the set with a velvet red jacket, candy-striped pants, and mistletoe hanging from his hat. He practically vibrates with excitement.
SCROOGE (to the camera):
“Let the bells toll and the bodies bump! It’s time for the most dangerous gift exchange this side of the chimney! The winners of tonight’s red box raffle get a shot at the Tag Team Titles—currently clutched by those chaotic creeps, the Misfits of Mayhem! And two lucky (or unlucky) duos will also receive silver tickets for a little bonus bash later on!”
Draw Order & Results:
1. Howlers
The wolfish warriors tear into the gift... COAL.
Scrooge: “All howl and no haul! Sorry, pups.”
2. Polar Bears
Polar Bear 1 opens it while Polar Bear 2 crushes a candy cane. COAL.
Scrooge: “The kings of winter... just got snowed OUT.”
3. Friar Tuck & Little John
Friar hums a hymn as Little John opens the box with bated breath… GOLDEN TICKET!
Scrooge (booming): “HOLY HOLIDAY MIRACLE! The merry men make magic! FRIAR TUCK AND LITTLE JOHN are headed to the title match!”
The crowd roars as the bearded brothers hold the ticket high, bowing to the heavens.
4. Ogre & Kong
Kong grabs the box and tears it with his teeth. COAL.
Scrooge: “All brute, no bounty!”
5. Nutcrackers Legion
They open it in perfect military precision. COAL.
Scrooge: “Dismissed!”
6. Blitzen & Donner
The powerhouse reindeer duo unwraps with grins—SILVER TICKET!
Scrooge (pointing with glee): “Rudolph’s boys just sleighed the odds! They’re dashing into tonight’s bonus brawl!”
Blitzen and Donner headbutt in celebration.
7. Ares & Mars (Gods of War)
They open the gift slowly, confident… COAL.
Scrooge: “The gods giveth… and tonight, the gods got JACKED!”
8. Comet & Prancer
They spin the box like it’s part of their routine. COAL.
Scrooge: “You danced, you dazzled, you disappointed!”
9. Peter Cottontail & Rapido Rojo
Cottontail lets Rojo do the honors—SILVER TICKET!
Scrooge (laughing): “Well paint me pastel and call me bunny! These two speedsters are hoppin’ into that bonus match!”
Peter pumps his paw in excitement while Rapido shadowboxes.
Silver Ticket Match Confirmed:
Blitzen & Donner vs. Peter Cottontail & Rapido Rojo (Later tonight!)
10. Jolly Elves
They excitedly step forward—but Scrooge raises his hand.
SCROOGE (mock solemn):
“Oh no, no, no—my sweet little helpers… the last box has already been spoken for! No draw for you!”
The camera catches the Jolly Elves’ faces drop in synchronized heartbreak. Behind them, the Howlers, Polar Bears, and Nutcrackers all show visible frustration. Ares shoves a red box off a table. Kong grunts in protest.
SCROOGE (cackling):
“Don’t like it? Write a letter to Santa—oh wait, he’s busy getting rescued by Ms. Sweetins!”
SCROOGE (closing out):
“So here’s your festive fallout, fans! Friar Tuck and Little John will face the Misfits of Mayhem for the NPCW Tag Team Titles… and Blitzen & Donner vs. Peter Cottontail & Rapido Rojo will tear the roof off in tonight’s silver slugfest! Who needs cheer when you’ve got CHAOS!”
Cue jingle bell pyro as Scrooge vanishes behind a puff of peppermint-scented fog.
The Final Draw - North Pole Title, Northern Lights Title and Bonus Match
Backstage, the holiday-themed stage is now aglow in shimmering gold, flickering candlelight, and oversized gilded ribbons. The final pile of gifts — gold boxes with shimmering bows — gleams ominously.
Ebeneezer Scrooge reappears for the last time, wearing a sparkling gold tuxedo with rhinestone buttons and a top hat shaped like a present box.
SCROOGE (grinning ear to ear):
“Ohhhh how the mighty have melted! This is it, the final round of Scrooge’s Surprise Sacks! These aren’t just any ol’ boxes — oh no. These gold ones hold DESTINY... or humiliating disappointment!”
SCROOGE (to the camera, dramatically):
“Inside are four fateful tickets:
One GOLD TICKET — for a shot at the North Pole Championship against Rudolph.
One COPPER TICKET — for a challenge to Abaddon’s Northern Lights Title.
And TWO SILVER TICKETS — for our final bonus match of the night!”
Draw Order & Results:
1. Big Bad Wolf
Tears the box open with his claws. COAL.
Scrooge: “Not huffin’, not puffin’, just LOSIN’!”
2. Sandman
Drowsily opens the box... COAL.
Scrooge: “Dream on, dusty boy!”
3. Sinbad
Unties it like a sea knot—COAL.
Scrooge: “That voyage ends in failure, sailor!”
4. Van Helsing
Slices it open with a silver dagger—SILVER TICKET!
Scrooge (excited): “Ohhhhhhh my garlic-scented granny! VAN HELSING is in our final bonus match!”
Van Helsing nods stoically and steps aside.
5. Frosty
Whistles while unwrapping. COAL.
Scrooge: “You melted your opportunity, snowball!”
6. Robin Hood
Grins as he opens—COAL.
Scrooge: “Steal from the rich, but you couldn’t buy a win!”
7. Cheshire Cat
Slinks up, eyes scanning the pile. Before he chooses, Scrooge gives a sly kick, sending a box gently toward him. Cheshire smirks knowingly and picks it up. Inside… COPPER TICKET!
Scrooge (feigning surprise):
“Well paint me pink and call me grinning—CHESHIRE CAT gets the Northern Lights Title shot against Abaddon!”
Cheshire fades into the background with a mischievous laugh.
8. Lion
Roars, opens... COAL.
Scrooge: “Still no courage... and no title match either!”
9. Tin Man
Carefully unwraps. COAL.
Scrooge: “If I only had a win!”
10. Jolly Green
Tears open the gift. COAL.
Scrooge: “No beans, no belts!”
11. Krampus
Growling, rips open... SILVER TICKET!
Scrooge: “The holiday horror gets his claws into the silver match! VAN HELSING vs KRAMPUS—it’s going to be biblical!”
12. Ogre
Grunts. Opens it... COAL.
Scrooge: “Shrek’s distant cousin? Still got nothin’!”
13. Huntsman
Picks one confidently. COAL.
Scrooge: “Lost in the woods again, huh?”
14. Black Knight
Rips it with rage. COAL.
Scrooge: “Your armor’s shiny but your chances were rusted!”
15. Paul Bunyan
Opens the box the size of a log—COAL.
Scrooge: “Even your axe can’t chop through fate!”
16. Nutcracker Captain
Marches in with discipline. Opens... COAL.
Scrooge: “Dismissed!”
17. Jack Frost
Starts to reach for a box, but Scrooge subtly coughs and shakes his head, then discretely points at another one.
Jack adjusts, picks that box—GOLD TICKET!
Scrooge (exploding with theatrical flair):
“FROST BITES! JACK FROST melts the competition! He’s facing RUDOLPH for the North Pole Championship!”
Jack Frost smirks icy-cold as the crowd roars.
SCROOGE (mock innocent):
“Ohhhhhh dear Santa… looks like we’re all out of tickets. I guess... you were just too naughty this year! Heheheheheh!!”
Santa stares coldly as the crowd lets out a collective gasp. Scrooge hides behind a stack of empty boxes.
Final Results:
Gold Ticket: Jack Frost vs Rudolph for the North Pole Championship
Copper Ticket: Cheshire Cat vs Abaddon for the Northern Lights Championship
Silver Match: Van Helsing vs Krampus
SCROOGE (final words):
“And that’s the last sack, folks! Titles, tempers, and tinsel flying everywhere! Stick around—because this Christmas in July? Is about to go FULL SLEIGH MODE!”
Cue explosion of red, green, and gold pyro as the crowd chants “NPC-DUB! NPC-DUB!”
Transition to Commentary Desk
Following the final gift draw, the camera cuts from the golden chaos backstage to the sparkling, snow-dusted announce desk at ringside. Garland is wrapped around the table legs, and a toy train circles the base. The crowd is red-hot, signs waving in the air ("FLIPPERS WAS FRAMED!", "ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS BLOOD!")
Behind the desk sit the North Pole’s favorite odd couple:
Johnny “The Mic” Michaels – sporting a bright green blazer with snowflake lapels, his headset barely containing his enthusiasm.
The Expert of Elocution Eddie Ellington – decked out in a red velvet smoking jacket, gold cravat, and sunglasses, smug as ever.
JOHNNY (grinning):
“Welcome to the most wonderfully warped night of the year, fans — it’s time for NPCW Polar Power Episode 0018: CHRISTMAS IN JULY! I’m Johnny ‘The Mic’ Michaels and with me, as always, the man who once insulted a reindeer so badly it joined a monastery — Eddie Ellington!”
EDDIE (straight-faced):
“It was Blitzen, and he deserved it.”
JOHNNY (laughing):
“What a night we’ve got, folks. Every. Single. Title. On the line. And we just saw the final presents unwrapped backstage — and uh… let’s not pretend that wasn’t a little fishy.”
EDDIE (shrugging):
“Oh come on, Johnny! It’s the holidays! There’s magic in the air! A nudge here, a wink there — Scrooge was just helping fate along! Cheshire Cat was purring, Jack Frost got frosty, and Santa Claus? Well, maybe he finally made the naughty list!”
JOHNNY (raising an eyebrow):
“Helping fate along? He kicked a box to Cheshire and pointed Jack right at his! If that’s not holiday hijinks, I don’t know what is.”
EDDIE (smirking):
“Maybe Santa should’ve left out better cookies.”
JOHNNY (ignoring the jab):
“Well, regardless of how it happened, the matches are SET. And what a lineup tonight:
Athena challenges Goldie Locks for the Queen of the North Title.
Mrs. Claus & Pearl face the Blonde Bombshells for the North Star Tag Team gold.
Friar Tuck & Little John take on the Misfits of Mayhem, short a penguin.
Cheshire Cat slinks into the ring against the monstrous Abaddon.
And the main event? Jack Frost vs. Rudolph for the North Pole Championship!”
EDDIE (leaning in):
“If Frost doesn’t freeze, he reigns. I’ve said it before, Johnny — he’s the coldest killer since the abominable snowman turned heel!”
JOHNNY:
“But before we get to all that, we’re opening the show with our first silver ticket match — and it’s a doozy. One of the world’s most legendary monster hunters taking on the beast that haunts your nightmares. That’s right: Van Helsing vs. Krampus!”
EDDIE (mock whisper):
“Krampus ate two fans last year. No proof, but I believe it.”
JOHNNY (chuckling):
“Well you’d better believe this: The bell’s about to ring, and these two aren’t wasting time with stockings and cheer. It’s going to be cold, brutal, and unforgettable. Let’s head to the ring!”
Cue icy pyro and organ-heavy music as the lights dim and the ring announcer steps forward…
Johnny: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to ringside for our opening contest of the evening — and what a way to kick things off! A grudge match between light and darkness! The legendary hunter of monsters, Van Helsing, goes one-on-one with the holiday horror himself, Krampus — and of course, he’s not alone out there. That menace, Paul “The Grinch” Heyman, is lurking at ringside.
Eddie: Oh give me a break, Johnny. That’s the brilliant strategist Paul the Grinch Heyman. You can’t fault a manager for having vision — Van Helsing hunts monsters? Krampus is the monster! This is like bringing a slingshot to a sleigh ride of pain.
Johnny: And there’s the bell! Van Helsing starts cautiously, circling the big man. Krampus lunges in—WAIT! Grinch Heyman’s already up on the apron! He’s got that—what is that? A sleigh bell cord?!
Eddie: He's trying to help tidy the ring, Johnny! And if Van Helsing would just accept a little festive strangulation, we could all move on!
Johnny: Oh come on! Heyman’s choking Van Helsing from behind the ref’s back—but wait, Van Helsing shoves him off! The Hunter isn’t falling for the tricks tonight!
Eddie: He just robbed us of a classic finish!
Johnny: Van Helsing bounces off the ropes—BIG CHOKESLAM! He planted Krampus like a seed in the snow!
Eddie: That was a fluke! A Christmas miracle! Probably slipped on tinsel or something!
Johnny: Oh look out—Grinch Heyman again with the distractions! He’s on the apron shouting insults, waving that creepy Grinch grin! But Van Helsing’s ignoring him—he’s focused, determined!
Eddie: Focused on losing, you mean. He’s just softening Krampus up for dessert!
Johnny: Krampus looks enraged—he’s back on his feet! He lifts Van Helsing upside-down—DEMONIC DRIVER! That’s a tombstone piledriver from hell!
Eddie: YES! That’s what I’m talkin’ about! Deliver him straight to the underworld, Krampus! Gift wrap him in defeat!
Johnny: Van Helsing’s down! Referee Honest Abe checks him—wait, he’s moving! The hunter’s still in this!
Eddie: Barely! He’s got snowflakes in his brain right now!
Johnny: And now—oh come on!! Heyman’s back again! He’s wrapping that sleigh bell cord around Van Helsing’s neck again! What is this?! This is madness!
Eddie: It’s tactical enhancement! You don’t question Michelangelo’s paintbrush, do you?!
Johnny: Referee Abe sees it this time—HE’S CALLING FOR THE BELL! Disqualification!! Krampus has been disqualified for outside interference!
Johnny: Van Helsing WINS by disqualification! Heyman couldn’t help himself and it cost his monster the match!
Eddie: That’s an injustice! A miscarriage of yuletide justice! This is political, Johnny!
Johnny: No, Eddie — this is NPCW! And Van Helsing just walked out of here a winner, proving once again: you don’t mess with the Enclave — and you don’t need to cheat to beat a demon!
Eddie: Please. Krampus should’ve gotten a title shot just for looking terrifying. This was robbery wrapped in ribbon!
Johnny: Well folks, that’s just the beginning tonight! More chaos, more gold, and more gifts to unwrap right here on Polar Power: CHRISTMAS IN JULY! Stay tuned!
[Camera cuts to a dimly lit bunker, cracked cinderblock wall behind him, a single flickering fluorescent light above. Dave “The Brute” Kent, in a rumpled black suit and signature wrestling mask, leans into a cheap desk mic with a smirk.]
Dave “The Brute” Kent:
HEY NPCW FANS! It’s Dave “The Brute” Kent—coming at you live and unfiltered from deep inside THE BUNKER, where logic lives and hype dies!
Let’s talk about that opening match—Van Helsing vs. Krampus. Yeah, that happened.
Here’s my take:
This wasn’t a match. It was a mess in a sleigh crash.
Krampus comes out like a rabid yak on Christmas Eve—big entrance, big attitude—but he wrestles like someone who just woke up from a 300-year nap. Meanwhile, Van Helsing’s supposed to be this world-class monster hunter… but he took more damage in three minutes than a snowman in July. His offense was stiff, I’ll give him that, but you could’ve timed his reaction speed with a sundial.
And don’t get me started on Grinch Heyman. I’ve seen toddlers at a Chuck E. Cheese exhibit more restraint. The man interfered more times than an uncle on Facebook. And what does it get him? A disqualification. Way to go, genius. You turned a monster into a meme. It’s like if Paul Bearer just kept tripping over the urn.
Van Helsing wins, technically. But nobody looks good here. Not the hunter, not the demon, not the manager, and sure as snow not the booking. Krampus should’ve crushed this in 90 seconds, but instead he got outsmarted by a guy in a trench coat who sells garlic on weekends.
This wasn’t good. It was gimmicks over grappling.
That’s my take. From the bunker. Deal with it.
[Camera glitch-cuts to static as he slams down a stack of NPCW programs.]
THE BLONDE BOMBSHELLS
Scene: Backstage at the North Pole Arena. Glittering lights hang from snow-frosted rafters and holiday banners line the walls. KC Rogers, NPCW’s sharp and stylish backstage interviewer stands in front of the NPCW interview set adorned with icy blue and gold branding. She’s smiling brightly, microphone in hand, as she stands beside the reigning queens of chaos and couture—the North Star Tag Team Champions and Queen of the North—The Blonde Bombshells.
KC Rogers: “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guests at this time—the reigning North Star Tag Team Champions and the Queen of the North herself—Dorothy Gale, Alice Liddell, and Goldie Locks—The Blonde Bombshells!”
The camera zooms out slightly as the Bombshells strut into frame, all clad in matching glitter-bombed gold and silver gear. Dorothy twirls a parasol tipped with razor-sharp edges. Alice spins a candy-striped croquet mallet lazily over her shoulder. Goldie Locks steps front and center, adjusting her Queen of the North title on her shoulder, a smug grin on her face.
KC Rogers: “Tonight is a huge night for all three of you. Dorothy, Alice—you’ll be defending your North Star Tag Team Championships against none other than Mrs. Claus and Pearl. Goldie—you’ll be putting your Queen of the North title on the line against the war goddess herself, Athena. The stakes couldn’t be higher. What’s the Bombshell mindset heading into tonight’s matches?”
Dorothy (with a wink and twang): “KC, lemme make this real clear for all the nice folks watchin’—the North Star Tag belts aren’t just ours ‘cause we’re pretty faces. We earned ‘em bustin’ up skulls and twistin’ arms from the Arctic Circle to the Sugarplum Dungeon.”
Alice (mocking British politeness): “Indeed. And if Mrs. Claus thinks stuffing stockings and baking gingerbread makes her championship material—oh dearie, you’re in for quite the rude awakening. As for Pearl? She sparkles, sure. But tonight, she gets shattered.”
Goldie Locks (stepping forward, flipping her hair): “And Athena? Ohhh sweet war goddess, I hope you brought more than a shield and a few bedtime myths, because you’re stepping in the ring with someone who’s taken down witches, wrecked wolves, and left more holiday heroines crying in the snow than I can count. You may think you’re divine, but honey—I’m inevitable.”
Dorothy (grinning wide): “The Bombshells are the now AND the future, KC.”
Alice (rolling her eyes): “The old guard needs to pack it up, take their complimentary candy canes, and shuffle off stage left.”
Goldie Locks (grinning maliciously): “This is our house now. This is our stage. And tonight? We’re gonna light it up...”
All Three (in perfect sync, throwing their hands in the air):
“WE’RE HERE TO BLOW THE PLACE UP—
KABOOM!” (The Crowd says KABOOM in sync!)
Johnny: Welcome back to Christmas in July, folks—and just before we get to our second match of the evening, we’ve got to talk about what we witnessed earlier tonight: Dave Kent hijacking the broadcast with that eerie “Bunker” segment. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.
Eddie: Wrap your head around what, Johnny? A bunch of monitors in a cave? He looked like the ghost of a gym teacher who failed an apocalypse preparedness test. What’s next, tin foil hats for sale at the merch table?
Johnny: Well I’ve been told Chill Factor this Sunday will feature a major announcement from Kent himself—perhaps finally shedding some light on this “Bunker” and what it means for NPCW. But right now, it’s time to turn our attention to the ring!
Eddie: Ugh. Speaking of lights, look at this sparkly reindeer nonsense.
Johnny: Blitzen starting off against Peter Cottontail—and the pace is fast and furious! Blitzen with a beautiful sunset flip!
Eddie: Blitzen’s got more flips than a North Pole gymnastics team. But Cottontail hops right back—BACK BODYDROP INTO A ROLL-UP! That bunny’s got teeth!
Johnny: Second minute now and the Reindeer Coalition are living up to their name—Blitzen with a shooting star press! Donner charges in—running shoulder tackle! They’re double teaming the poor rabbit!
Eddie: It’s a sleigh ride beatdown! Peter looks like someone just cancelled Easter brunch.
Johnny: Blitzen with the Reindeer Clomp! Donner... does nothing?
Eddie: Ah yes, classic tag strategy—one guy stomps, the other checks his fantasy points. Genius. But look out! Cottontail reverses it—SMALL PACKAGE OUT OF NOWHERE!
Johnny: Incredible awareness from Peter! This is anyone’s match!
Johnny: Fourth minute—Blitzen and Donner still pushing hard. Blitzen hits the Reindeer Gorge—Donner with another SHOOTING STAR PRESS!
Eddie: And Peter Cottontail with a leaping judo chop. Because nothing says “devastating offense” like bunny karate.
Johnny: Fifth minute—Blitzen takes control with another Reindeer Clomp! Peter Cottontail eats it and wisely tags in the high-flying sensation—Rapido Rojo!
Eddie: And now it’s about to get fast and flashy—hide your eggnog, kids.
Johnny: Double team mode again! Blitzen with the abdominal stretch—Donner with the sunset flip! But Rapido answers back with a dropkick! He’s not going down without a fight!
Eddie: Well of course he’s not—he’s got an entire lucha-themed cereal line to promote!
Johnny: Seventh minute—Rapido Rojo with a BULLDOG LARIAT! Blitzen and Donner caught flat-footed! What a shot!
Eddie: I haven't seen a reindeer flop like that since Santa tried CrossFit.
Johnny: Eighth minute—both men battling hard, and what a moment! Blitzen with a stomp, but Rapido Rojo counters with a 619! These fans are loving every second!
Eddie: I’m not. I’ve seen parades with less choreography. But fine, that was impressive.
Johnny: And now both men tag out—we’re back to Donner and Peter Cottontail for the final stretch!
Johnny: Ninth minute—Donner with the REINDEER KICK! Blitzen back in for the assist—REINDEER CLOMP connects again! Cottontail’s getting bounced around like a candy cane in a washing machine!
Eddie: And yet still better coordination than Rapido and his fashion choices.
Johnny: Donner with another REINDEER CLOMP! He’s going for the pin!
Eddie: Wrap it up! Put a bow on it! This bunny’s been roasted!
Johnny: 1...2...3! That’s it! Donner pins Peter Cottontail and the Reindeer Coalition pick up the win!
Johnny: What a high-energy contest between four beloved competitors—Blitzen and Donner showing why they’re the elite of the sleigh brigade!
Eddie: Sure. Two reindeer who can fly, stomp, and somehow wrestle in fur-lined boots. Merry Christmas to my sanity.
Johnny: Don’t go anywhere folks—we still have every title on the line tonight here at Christmas in July!
Johnny: Fans, what an electric night it’s been so far at Christmas in July, and we’re about to close out the bonus matches with a certified crowd pleaser! It’s fan favorite versus fan favorite—Gretel of the Hunter’s Enclave takes on the elemental force of nature herself… Mother Earth!
Eddie: Fantastic. Just what this show needed—an herbal supplement in boots fighting a fairy tale child with anger issues. Is it too late for a meteor strike?
Johnny: There’s the bell! Both women circle—collar-and-elbow tie-up—and Mother Earth goes to work early with a beautifully applied surfboard! That’s textbook technique!
Eddie: Great, she’s already doing yoga. Meanwhile, Gretel answers with a spinning heel kick! She’s still got sugar in her veins and violence in her heart.
Johnny: Second minute now—Mother Earth takes control again—Double Chickenwing Facebuster! That planted Gretel!
Eddie: And Gretel bounces right up with a shining wizard! You can’t keep a Grimm girl down, Johnny. She’s survived witches, wolves, and now this walking compost heap.
Johnny: Back and forth action! Mother Earth lands a forearm smash! Gretel—shining wizard again! That knee is finding a home!
Eddie: She’s going to knock the seasons out of Mother Earth at this rate.
Johnny: FOURTH minute—and here comes Mother Earth like a thunderstorm! SPEAR! Gretel had no answer for that one!
Eddie: Of course not! How do you defend against someone throwing their entire belief system at you?
Johnny: Fifth minute now—Mother Earth reapplying that Surfboard! She’s grounding Gretel and—wait, she’s going for a pin!
Eddie: What is she thinking?! That’s not a finisher, that’s a chiropractor’s wet dream. And yep—Gretel kicks out! That’s the fighting spirit of the Enclave.
Johnny: Sixth minute—Mother Earth up top—Gaia’s Grace! The 450 Splash lands CLEAN!
Eddie: Great. We’re calling it “Gaia’s Grace” now? What, were “Leaf Slam” and “Photosynthesis Press” taken?
Johnny: Seventh minute—Double Chickenwing Facebuster again! Gretel with a superkick in retaliation! What a slugfest!
Eddie: They’re trading shots like holiday fruitcakes—tough, weird, and no one knows who’s winning.
Johnny: Eighth minute now—Mother Earth with the Alley Oop Facebuster! Gretel responds with a spinning heel kick—neither one backing down!
Eddie: Look, if these two fan favorites hit each other any harder, they’re going to swap gimmicks.
Johnny: Ninth minute—another spear from Mother Earth! But Gretel stuns her with an enzuigiri out of nowhere! Unreal resiliency!
Eddie: It’s like Mother Earth is trying to terraform Gretel—and Gretel’s kicking like she just saw breadcrumbs on the mat.
Johnny: Tenth minute now—Mother Earth back to the surfboard, trying to wear Gretel down again, but Gretel fires back with a second superkick! That one echoed!
Eddie: Can we ban superkicks? Every wrestler on this roster uses them like breath mints.
Johnny: Eleventh minute—Spinebuster by Mother Earth! Gretel somehow counters with a rolling fireman’s carry! Neither woman willing to give an inch!
Eddie: This isn’t a match—it’s a duel between a Whole Foods mascot and Little Red Concussion Hood.
Johnny: Twelfth minute—Mother Earth AGAIN with the Alley Oop Facebuster! Gretel fights back—another spinning heel kick!
Eddie: They’ve repeated more moves than a Saturday morning cartoon, and I’m still entertained. What’s wrong with me?
Johnny: Thirteenth minute—Gretel’s shining wizard STUNS Mother Earth! That could be the turning point!
Eddie: About time! Someone hit Mother Earth hard enough to knock the pollen out of her.
Johnny: Fourteenth minute—Mother Earth climbs again—GAIA’S GRACE!! She crushes Gretel but eats a pump kick for her trouble!
Eddie: Gretel just kicked the equinox out of her. That had to hurt.
Johnny: Fifteenth minute—Forearm smash by Mother Earth! She’s going for another pin!
Eddie: Another one?! You’re not going to beat Gretel with spa day offense!
Johnny: 1…2… NO! Gretel kicks out again!
Johnny: Sixteenth minute—Mother Earth with a Handspring Moonsault! Gretel answers back with—yes—another spinning heel kick!
Eddie: At this point that kick should have its own theme music.
Johnny: Seventeenth minute—Gretel with the rolling fireman’s carry! She’s turning the tide!
Eddie: And she’s probably dizzy from all the spinning. This isn’t a match, it’s a carousel of concussions.
Johnny: Eighteenth minute—Mother Earth with a Delayed Vertical Suplex! Holds her high—and DROPS HER! She’s going for the pin!
Eddie: Wrap it up! Water the plants and close the book—she got her!
Johnny: 1...2...3! It’s over! Mother Earth pins Gretel with the Delayed Vertical Suplex!
Johnny: What a match! A showcase of endurance, spirit, and heart—Mother Earth pulls out the win in an instant classic!
Eddie: Sure, if your idea of a classic is two women taking turns planting each other like perennials. I’m gonna need tea and a nap after that one.
Johnny: Don’t go anywhere, folks—the title matches begin NEXT right here at NPCW Christmas in July!
ABADDON
The camera cuts to the NPCW backstage area—lit in deep crimson, where shadows stretch and flicker like living things. The air seems heavier, the atmosphere unnatural. KC Rogers, ever the consummate professional, stands with microphone in hand, framed by two chilling figures:
Abaddon, the brooding Northern Lights Champion, a hulking inferno in humanoid form, unmoving, staring down the lens like it owes him a soul.
Lilith, the Demonic Legion’s dark priestess, draped in black lace, her voice velvet and venom.
KC Rogers (hesitantly): KC Rogers here, and I'm standing with the reigning Northern Lights Champion, Abaddon, and his unholy mouthpiece, Lilith of the Demonic Legion.
Let’s get right to it. A couple weeks ago, in a rare non-title bout, Robin Hood managed to pin Abaddon. That’s got people talking—cracks in the armor?
Lilith (smiling darkly): You mortals are so obsessed with the fall. You never understand the purpose of the descent.
That match was a test—not of Abaddon, but of him. Robin touched the abyss… and barely made it back with his pride intact. But even the strongest winds do not shake the mountain.
Abaddon breathes slowly, menacingly, the title resting across his massive shoulder like a war trophy.
KC (pressing forward): And now, following the Gift Draw, Abaddon’s next challenger is Cheshire Cat. Some say Scrooge manipulated that draw to hand your champion an easier defense—someone low on the card. Care to respond?
Lilith (tilts her head with mock amusement): Easier? She laughs coldly. Do you not see the trick, KC? Cheshire Cat is chaos in stripes—madness wrapped in whimsy. That grin hides something deeper. He’s not a joke… he’s a trap.
She gestures to Abaddon.
But this one? He is the abyss that laughs back.
KC: So you’re not concerned that Scrooge might have set this up as a soft touch?
Lilith (stepping closer, eyes aflame): Scrooge thinks he's playing chess. But we—we—are the fire that melts the board. Let him send jesters, outlaws, ghosts—we’ll send them all back screaming.
Abaddon (quiet, gravelly, ominous): The Cat… will burn.
The words drop like a stone, and he returns to silence, eyes smoldering.
KC Rogers (steeling herself): Well… if Cheshire Cat is watching, it seems like the Demonic Legion isn’t underestimating him after all.
Lilith (grinning): No, sweet girl. We don’t underestimate our enemies. We simply end them.
Abaddon lifts the Northern Lights Championship up slowly, the leather dripping with sweat and menace. Lilith gently runs her fingers across its surface like it’s alive.
Lilith (softly): The gift has been opened. Now comes the reckoning.
The lights flicker as the camera slowly fades to black, leaving the last image of Abaddon’s burning eyes staring into the soul of every viewer at home.
[End Segment]
Johnny: Welcome back to Polar Power, folks! This is the North Star Tag Team Championship on the line and what a festive treat we’ve got—The Blonde Bombshells taking on the iconic duo of Mrs. Claus and Pearl!
Eddie: Iconic? More like expired, Johnny. These two look like they came out of a Hallmark retirement special. The Bombshells are here to blow the roof off! Let’s go, blondes!
Johnny: Alice starting it off against Mrs. Claus—and right out of the gate, she takes to the skies with that Wonderland’s End Moonsault! Beautiful elevation!
Eddie: And Mrs. Claus responds with… what is that? A Claus Clutch? How festive. I bet it smells like peppermint and prunes.
Johnny: Mrs. Claus tagging out to Pearl—fresh energy here from the holiday heroes.
Eddie: And Alice still in control! Another Wonderland’s End Moonsault! Pearl’s gonna need a candy cane crutch after this.
Johnny: Minute three—both teams now diving into double team territory!
Eddie: And Alice starts it with a forearm smash, Dorothy follows with an Emerald City Elbow—that’s a double feature!
Johnny: But don’t count out Mrs. Claus and Pearl! A Claus Crunch and Scissored Armbar—these two aren’t here for cookies and cocoa!
Eddie: Maybe not, but they should be. That’s where they belong.
Johnny: Both teams still giving it everything. Alice tags in Dorothy—and Mrs. Claus is back in! What a trade!
Eddie: Boom! Wonderland Whirl Hurricanrana from Alice before she tags—pure chaos! But look at Mrs. Claus with the Jolly Holly Suplex. She’s got some life in her brittle bones!
Johnny: Pearl and Mrs. Claus go full double-team mode on Dorothy now!
Eddie: What is this—Christmas charity?! That Running Spinning Back Elbow from Pearl actually looked like it hurt!
Johnny: And here comes the Claus Crunch again! Dorothy is reeling—can she recover?
Johnny: Wait a second! Dorothy just reversed the double team! Big One-Armed Neckbreaker Slam! She’s showing why the Bombshells are champs!
Eddie: That’s that Kansas grit! She may wear glitter, but she hits like a tornado, baby!
Johnny: Another wave of offense from Pearl and Claus—Tooth Buster into a Christmas Cutter—and Dorothy with a Bulldog of her own! This is nonstop!
Eddie: And they’re still trying to double-team! Pearl’s not backing down—but neither is Dorothy!
Johnny: Claus with a Claus Clutch—and Dorothy’s caught again! She’s in deep trouble!
Johnny: Dorothy with a School-Girl Roll-Up out of nowhere! ONE… TWO—NO! Pearl kicks out!
Eddie: Pearl may be old-school, but she’s still got a little life left in those orthopedic boots.
Johnny: Another round—Emerald City Elbow from Dorothy! But… wait a second! Did Bernard just throw a punch behind Honest Abe’s back?!
Eddie: Whoa! That’s the nicest thing he’s done all year! Pearl scores off it, but Dorothy still tags out! Alice is back!
Johnny: Alice flies in with a Wonderland’s End Moonsault! She’s got Pearl! Going for the pin!
Eddie: ONE—NO! Pearl kicks out! This match is STILL going?!
Johnny: Alice and Mrs. Claus now! Keylock from Alice—Claus with the Claus Clutch again! These ladies are NOT giving up!
Eddie: I haven’t seen this much clutching since Black Friday at the North Pole Mall.
Johnny: Dorothy’s back in—big Bodyslam on Pearl! But Pearl answers with the Running Double Axe Handles! These two are going toe to toe!
Eddie: I’ll give Pearl this—she’s got more steam than I expected. But the Bombshells are still lighting it up!
Johnny: Dorothy connects with another Bodyslam—Pearl lands a Tooth Buster and tags in Mrs. Claus!
Eddie: And Dorothy—KICKS HER RIGHT OUT OF THE RING! That’s vintage Bombshell energy!
Johnny: The ref starts the count! Mrs. Claus is out on the floor!
Eddie: 1… 2… 3… 4… 5…
Johnny: She’s not moving fast enough!
Eddie: 9… 10!!! SHE’S COUNTED OUT!
Johnny: That’s it! Dorothy wins it for the Bombshells via count out after that devastating kick-out-of-ring!
Eddie: KABOOM! That’s what happens when you try to outshine the next generation. Alice and Dorothy are the now—and the future!
Johnny: A hard-fought match by both teams—but the champions retain tonight. What a battle! What a night!
Johnny: Welcome back to Christmas and July, folks, and it’s time for our fifth bout of the night — the Northern Lights Title is on the line! Abaddon, the Demon of Destruction, puts the gold up against the unpredictable, unhinged Cheshire Cat!
Eddie: I’ve heard of cat scratch fever, Johnny, but this feline’s about to catch a case of demonic destruction! Abaddon hasn’t blinked since October!
Johnny: The Mad Hatter is at ringside trying to keep the Cat focused. That’s a job and a half. Referee Honest Abe calls for the bell and we’re underway!
Johnny: Early goings here and it’s all defense — both men circling, testing the waters. Hatter tries his usual trick — running around the ring to draw the monster out, but Abaddon doesn’t bite.
Eddie: You think a demon’s going to fall for playground games? Please. Abaddon’s been to hell and back — literally. He’s not chasing a tea party reject!
Johnny: Abaddon with a vicious Netherstrike! But wait — Cheshire Cat responds with a shotgun dropkick! This Cat's not just here for fun — he came to FIGHT!
Eddie: I’ll give the feline credit — he’s landing some surprising shots. But you don’t rattle a demon with boots, Johnny. You need an exorcist.
Johnny: Now Cheshire Cat goes for a rear naked choke, trying to sap the big man’s power!
Eddie: Bold move — but not enough. Abaddon shrugs it off and slams him like yesterday’s leftovers!
Johnny: The Cat catches Abaddon clean with another dropkick! He’s got momentum now!
Eddie: And here comes the Hatter again! Wait — he’s quoting Lewis Carroll to the referee? What in the name of senseless lunacy is going on?
Johnny: It buys Cheshire just a second of confusion — but Abaddon weathers it. No damage done!
Johnny: BIG HELLBREAKER from Abaddon! That backbreaker might’ve folded the Cat in half!
Eddie: I told you! This ain’t Wonderland — it’s Warland!
Johnny: Cheshire Cat’s right back with a Fujiwara Armbar! The tenacity from this underdog is off the charts!
Eddie: And Abaddon just... stands up with him still clinging on! He’s shaking him off like a bad dream.
Johnny: HELLFIRE PLEX! Abaddon just launched the Cat halfway to the North Pole!
Eddie: And Lilith LOVES it! She’s at ringside spraying mist, screaming prophecies — this whole place feels cursed!
Johnny: Cat’s STILL coming! Coffin Drop! Yoshi Tonic! This man is throwing everything at Abaddon!
Eddie: It's admirable. Also futile. Like trying to put out a volcano with snowballs.
Johnny: But the Cat might be running out of tricks. Abaddon turns the tables with a slam! The momentum is swinging back to the champ!
Eddie: That’s what happens when you poke the demon too many times. You get punished.
Johnny: Abaddon, stalking his prey. NETHERSTRIKE AGAIN! RIGHT TO THE SKULL!
Eddie: Goodnight, Kitty. Don’t forget to leave out a saucer of pain.
Johnny: Here's the cover! 1… 2… 3! It's over!
WINNER: ABADDON (STILL Northern Lights Champion)
Johnny: What a war! Cheshire Cat gave it his absolute all — that might’ve been his best showing yet!
Eddie: Best showing? He still lost, Johnny. This is NPCW — you don’t get medals for effort. Abaddon walks in champion and walks out even more terrifying than before!
Johnny: But you have to think — with this kind of performance, the Cat's stock just went way up.
Eddie: Stock? This isn’t Wall Street, Michaels. This is the Demonic Legion’s domain — and tonight, they held the gold tight.
MISFITS OF MAYHEM
[The house lights dim slightly. Misfits of Mayhem’s chaotic theme plays — distorted bagpipes over a war drum beat. The fans erupt as Ace MacDougall stumbles out first, adjusting his pilot goggles and trench coat, looking like a man who hasn't slept since Flippers vanished. Madman Mason storms out next, fists clenched and muttering like a man on the edge. Finally, Negropolis glides in behind them, cold and grim as ever.]
[The crowd chants immediately.]
Crowd: “FLIP-PERS! FLIP-PERS! FLIP-PERS!”
[Ace MacDougall wipes his nose with a tartan handkerchief, raises the mic, and takes a deep, shaky breath.]
Ace MacDougall: "Awrite... listen up, folks."
[The crowd leans in.]
Ace (voice wavering slightly): "It’s been… nearly two weeks now. That’s 13 nights of pacing, worrying, and bad microwave haggis. Two weeks since someone — some gutless, spineless snowflake-snatcher — took our mate Flippers."
[BOOOOOO!]
Ace: "Aye, Flippers! The bravest penguin I ever flew over the Alps in a biplane with. You think he’s just a mascot? You think he’s just for laughs? Nah, mate — he’s family."
[Madman Mason stomps a circle around Ace, frothing at the mouth. He growls and slaps himself across the face. Negropolis hasn’t moved.]
Ace (glaring into the camera): "And let me tell ye — I’ve crashed into volcanoes. I’ve arm-wrestled a troll in Iceland. I once flew a hot air balloon straight into a dragon’s gullet and still made it back in time for meatloaf. But nothing — nothing — scares me more than what Mason’s gonna do if we don’t get Flippers back."
[Mason suddenly kicks the bottom rope and lets out a low, guttural roar. The crowd pops huge.]
Ace: "We’ve waited. We’ve searched. We even asked that creepy Frost Wight fella for help — and he just laughed at us! So now... now we’re done askin’ nicely."
[He jabs a finger forward.]
Ace: "You bring him back. No riddles. No smoke bombs. No cryptic rhymes written in peppermint blood. Just... give us back our penguin."
[Crowd: “FLIP-PERS! FLIP-PERS!”]
Ace (more serious now, voice low and intense): "Because if you don’t… if you keep pushin’ us…"
[He nods toward Mason, who now has a steel chair in his hands and is twitching like a thundercloud.]
Ace: "We’ll make the reindeer look like Boy Scouts. The mayhem’s comin'. And believe me... there won’t be enough eggnog in the world to drown it."
[Negropolis slowly lifts a black candle and blows it out directly into the camera — a symbol of final warning.]
Ace (voice soft now): "Bring Flippers home. Before it’s too late."
[He drops the mic. The crowd explodes in support. Mason flings the chair out of the ring. “FLIP-PERS!” chants roll like thunder. The Misfits stand defiant, a dysfunctional but dangerous family ready for war.]
Johnny “The Mic” Michaels: “Alright folks, buckle up! It’s time for Match 6 — the NPCW Tag Team Titles are on the line! The monstrous Madman Mason and the grim shadow known as Negropolis are defending against the unlikely underdog heroes of the Merry Band, Friar Tuck and Little John!”
Eddie Ellington: "This should be illegal, Johnny. These aren’t teams — these are sideshow attractions. You’ve got a madman, a zombie priest, a drunk monk, and a tree with a beard. And Ace MacDougall? He’s a bad haircut away from being your Uber pilot to Doomsville."
Johnny: Mason starts off like a cannonball! Double team already with Negropolis — POWERBOMB into a FLYING ELBOW! What impact!
Eddie: “They should rename this team ‘Concussions Unlimited’. Tuck’s head bounced like a ham on a trampoline.”
Johnny: Friar Tuck answers back with a Rolling Scissors — showing he's not here to play patsy!
Johnny: Mason cools down, but Negropolis stays on the attack with another Flying Elbow! Tuck grinding back with an Abdominal Stretch — showing surprising tenacity tonight!
Eddie: “That’s not a stretch — that’s just Tuck trying to hug someone into submission because nobody hugged him as a kid.”
Johnny: Now Little John tags in! Double Axehandle! BACK SMASH! Friar and Little John with beautiful teamwork!
Eddie: “This isn’t teamwork — this is pub brawling with matching tights.”
Johnny: Friar Tuck is relentless — Reverse Chin Lock into the Keg Crusher! Madman Mason isn’t tapping, but he’s fading fast!
Eddie: “Mason looks like he’s trying to remember if he left the oven on in the dungeon.”
Johnny: BUT WAIT — reversal by Mason in the 8th minute! SPINEBUSTER SLAM!! He just planted Tuck like turnip in a war zone!
Eddie: "That’s the most productive thing Mason’s done since 1998!"
Johnny: Negropolis in now! Delivers a DOOM BOMB to Little John, but the big man isn’t staying down! Backbreaker from the Merry Band bruiser!
Eddie: "That’s not wrestling — that’s furniture demolition!"
Johnny: Mason and Negropolis back with brutal double teams — VERTICAL SUPLEX, SNAP SUPLEX — just dismantling Friar Tuck! But the monk keeps coming back with DOUBLE AXEHANDLES like he’s swinging salvation!
Johnny: These teams are locked in a war of attrition! Mason and Tuck are trading Belly-to-Bellys and Chin Locks like they’re on a carousel of carnage!
Eddie: "If I wanted to see two sweaty guys hold each other, I’d visit a sauna in Liverpool."
Johnny: Wait a minute! In the 21st minute — Ace MacDougall up on the apron! He’s signaling! What’s he doing?!
Eddie: "He’s pulling a Pilot’s Plot! That’s a distraction only a man with caffeine poisoning and 10 hours of flight time can pull off!"
Johnny: Negropolis tags back in! Here it comes — BLACK DOOM from the top rope! And Mason follows with the PSYCHOTIC BREAK!! They’ve turned Little John inside out!!
Eddie: "I hope Little John’s health insurance covers whatever dimension his ribs are in now."
Johnny: Hold on! Little John reverses the double team — AXE HANDLE DROP! Negropolis and Mason actually stunned!
Eddie: "That’s not an Axe Handle — that’s a flying log of disappointment."
Johnny: Little John nearly steals it with an Arm Drag Series! Pin attempt — 1...2... KICKOUT! Negropolis survives!!
Johnny: Negropolis takes advantage of Ace MacDougall pointing out a weakness… THRUST KICK into a pin!!
Eddie: "Oh! He cracked that jaw like a gingerbread house!"
Johnny: 1...2...3!!! It's over!!! The Misfits of Mayhem retain the NPCW Tag Team Titles!!
WINNERS: MADMAN MASON & NEGROPOLIS (w/ Ace MacDougall)
via pinfall (Negropolis over Little John, 26:00)
Johnny: “What a battle! Say what you will about their methods, but the Misfits of Mayhem brought chaos, calculation, and carnage tonight!”
Eddie: "They brought something, alright. I’d say brains, but we all know Mason eats those. And don’t get me started on that penguin thief nonsense — I bet Friar Tuck ate Flippers during lunch!"
Johnny: "Come on now, Eddie! The crowd is on their feet — what a match!"
Eddie: "Yeah yeah, great match. Call me when one of these guys figures out how to work a deodorant stick."
The bell has just rung. The referee raises the arms of Madman Mason and Negropolis, declaring the Misfits of Mayhem the winners. Their manager and brother-in-mayhem, Ace MacDougall, slides into the ring with a half-proud, half-panicked expression, clutching the NPCW Tag Team Titles like life preservers in a storm.
Johnny “The Mic” Michaels: "An impressive victory for the Misfits of Mayhem here tonight, but you can see it in their eyes — they’re not celebrating. They’re searching… still desperate for answers!"
Eddie Ellington: "It’s hard to enjoy the win when your mascot’s been turned into a penguin pop. Someone’s messing with them, and I don’t like the look in Mason’s eyes one bit."
Suddenly the arena lights dim, flickering with cold, unnatural pulses.
The Jumbotron explodes to life, not with pyros or championship highlights—but a grainy, flickering black-and-white video feed. The sound is warped like an old VHS tape left in a haunted attic.
The image: FLIPPERS.
Hunched in a small steel cage, bound at the wings. The loveable NPCW mascot looks bruised, exhausted, and terrified. A weak spotlight swings above him like a pendulum. The walls are concrete, lined with frost and rusted iron.
The audience gasps.
Johnny: "Oh no… it’s Flippers. IT’S FLIPPERS! My god, where is he?!"
Eddie: "This ain’t a zoo, Johnny… this is a crypt."
A haunting, slowed-down version of a children’s lullaby begins to play beneath the video—its warped notes echoing through the arena like ghostly wind chimes caught in a blizzard. It's not recognizable… just wrong.
Suddenly, Madman Mason screams and drops to his knees, clawing at his face, yanking at his hair. He begins pacing in frantic, sharp circles, mumbling unintelligible phrases, each word more frantic than the last.
Johnny: "Something’s in that sound! Mason’s losing it again—he’s unraveling at the seams!"
Eddie: "We’re watching the Madman go full meltdown, and nobody’s got the tranquilizer darts!"
The voice that follows is digitally distorted, almost demonic — part robotic, part whisper, part scream. It feels like it’s being played backward and forward at the same time.
"Miiiissfitssssss... the end... is... NIGH..."
"The mayhem you worship... will drown you..."
"The clock ticks... and time runs dry..."
"Tick... Tock..."
The words echo in Mason’s head like sledgehammers.
He lets out a roar and hurls a steel chair across the ring, narrowly missing the ref. Negropolis remains frozen, staring straight into the camera lens, unblinking. Ace holds his head in disbelief, mouthing “No… no no no…”
The screen glitches again — a final image: Flippers, staring directly into the camera with a single tear rolling down his cheek.
Then—
BLACK.
Silence.
Then a faint sound: Tick… Tock… Tick… Tock…
Johnny: "What the hell was that?! Who’s doing this?! This isn’t a game anymore, Eddie — someone’s using Flippers as a pawn in a sick, twisted mind game!"
Eddie: "That wasn’t a mind game, Johnny — that was a declaration of war. And Mason… Mason’s coming unglued like a gingerbread house in July."
Johnny: "Whoever you are… wherever you’re hiding… the Misfits are coming for you. And when they find you—mayhem will rain down."
Johnny: Ladies and gentlemen, this is what it’s all about—the Queen of the North Championship! And here comes the golden-haired queen herself, the reigning champion, Goldie Locks!
Eddie: Let’s just hope her hairspray holds up tonight, Johnny. She’s going up against a true deity of destruction—Athena! And with Zeus at ringside, this is practically an Olympian beatdown waiting to happen!
Johnny: You’d better believe Goldie is ready for it, Eddie. The fans are on their feet—here we go!
Johnny: Athena to the middle rope—HELM BREAKER! She just chopped Goldie down like a tree!
Eddie: That’s called dominance, Johnny. That’s what happens when you’re trained by the gods and not by, what, beauty pageant judges?
Johnny: Athena tries to muscle Goldie up—PALLAS DROP! Wait—no! Goldie flips out of it and slaps on the TWIN CITY TWISTER SURFBOARD! She's bending Athena like a pretzel!
Eddie: That’s illegal in at least twelve states. Someone get Zeus to do something about this!
Johnny: Goldie sends Athena flying to the outside! The referee’s count is up to nine—Athena just makes it back in!
Eddie: Nine lives like a cat! Except this cat bench presses elephants, Johnny!
Johnny: Athena with the OWL WING BACKBREAKER! Brutal tilt-a-whirl precision!
Eddie: Goldie just got reorganized—spinally and spiritually!
Johnny: HUNTRESS SPEAR! Athena with a devastating tackle!
Eddie: Goldie might be seeing Zeus himself after that one!
Johnny: Goldie fights back—ONE-HANDED BULLDOG! And she nails it!
Eddie: That’s less bulldog and more golden retriever, Johnny. Cute, but doesn’t bite.
Johnny: Whoa! Dual offense! Goldie hits the ONE-HANDED BULLDOG again, but Athena slams her back into the corner with a SHIELD BASH! This is chaos!
Eddie: That’s the problem with Goldie—she’s trying to play with gods. And she brought glitter to a thunderstorm!
Johnny: Athena unleashes another OWL WING BACKBREAKER! Then a SHIELD BASH! Goldie’s in trouble!
Eddie: She should’ve stayed in the salon! She’s getting styled alright—Olympian style!
Johnny: Goldie digs deep—DOUBLE WRIST CLUTCH PIN! That came out of nowhere!
Eddie: She’s trying to steal one! Like the bears and porridge all over again!
Johnny: Another flurry! Tilt-a-Whirl Headscissors from Goldie, but Athena roars back with a SHIELD BASH! Neither woman giving an inch!
Eddie: This is the most action Goldie’s seen outside of a red carpet!
Johnny: WISDOM’S WRATH! Athena just planted Goldie with a pedigree! Cover—1…2…NO! Goldie kicks out!
Eddie: How?! What keeps this bottle-blonde Barbie running?!
Johnny: Zeus tries to get involved—but Goldie reverses and hits a Handspring Back Elbow Smash! What a counter!
Eddie: That was a fluke, Johnny! A shiny, glittery, lucky fluke!
Johnny: Goldie with the LOCK BREAKER! Athena’s in trouble! She’s trying to make her submit!
Eddie: It’s not gonna happen. Gods don’t tap, Johnny—they smite!
Johnny: Double offense again—Goldie hits the BULLDOG, Athena with the HELM BREAKER! Neither one will stay down!
Eddie: This is like watching a shampoo commercial inside a gladiator pit!
Johnny: SHIELD BASH! DIVING LARIAT! WISDOM’S WRATH! They’re throwing everything at each other!
Eddie: Goldie just used her face to break a divine hammerlock. Impressive… for a mortal.
Johnny: HANDSPRING BACK ELBOW SMASH! She covers—1…2…NO! Athena kicks out again!
Eddie: That was close! Too close! Zeus, DO SOMETHING!
Johnny: They’re both running on fumes! Goldie with ANOTHER ONE-HANDED BULLDOG! She’s going for the pin!
Eddie: Not like this! NOT LIKE THI—
Johnny: 1…2…3! YES! SHE GOT HER! GOLDIE LOCKS RETAINS!
Eddie: This is rigged! Someone call Mount Olympus, we’ve been robbed!
Johnny: The Queen of the North still reigns supreme! What a match! What a battle! And what heart from Goldie Locks!
Eddie: Ugh. I’m gonna need nectar and ambrosia just to process this nonsense.
[Post-Match Visual: Goldie Locks standing tall on the turnbuckle, holding up the Queen of the North Title as Zeus helps Athena out of the ring, scowling. The crowd erupts in cheers.]
RUDOLPH
The camera cuts backstage to the bustling corridors of the North Pole Arena, lit with festive red and white lighting. NPCW’s ever-professional and perpetually composed backstage correspondent, KC Rogers—dressed in her trademark green Christmas dress —stands front and center, microphone in hand. Beside her, in all his antlered glory, stands the reigning North Pole Champion: Rudolph. His championship belt gleams like a beacon across his chest, and though he’s composed, there’s a fire in his eyes beneath the red glow of his nose.
KC Rogers: “Ladies and gentlemen, KC Rogers here, and I am standing by with the reigning and defending North Pole Champion—Rudolph the Red-Nosed Powerhouse! Now, Rudolph… last night at the NPCW house show in Spokane, you squared off against The Huntsman in a non-title bout. And well… the result didn’t quite go your way. I’ve gotta ask—was that a fluke? A wake-up call? Or is The Huntsman the real deal?”
Rudolph (nodding solemnly): “Let’s be clear, KC. The Huntsman brought the fight. No excuses. The guy hits harder than a sleigh crash on Christmas Eve and he earned that win. But let me remind everyone—last night wasn’t for the title. The bright lights, the gold on the line? That’s when I rise. Tonight? Jack Frost’s stepping into my tundra, and believe me, there will be no post-Christmas miracles for him.”
KC Rogers (raising an eyebrow): “Strong words about Frost. But let’s be honest—Jack’s been on a tear these last few weeks. He says you’ve gone soft. That the Reindeer Coalition has gotten comfortable. Is there any truth to that? Or is this just another icy jab from the winter trickster?”
Rudolph (snorts with a hint of a chuckle): “Jack Frost’s got jokes and fancy footwork, sure. But let’s not forget—he’s never faced me when the pressure’s on. He plays mind games, but this isn’t the snowball fight on the schoolyard. It’s war under the northern lights. And I’m not stepping down. I’m stomping forward.”
KC Rogers: “And speaking of stepping up, there’s buzz backstage after what we saw earlier tonight—Sandman managing to defeat Van Helsing in an absolute shocker. The fans are wondering: does that put him in contention for your title?”
Rudolph (smirks): “Sandman? He’s unorthodox, unpredictable... and yeah, that win raised a few eyebrows—even mine. But a win over Helsing doesn’t punch a ticket to the North Pole throne room. He wants a shot? Fine. Tell him to show up in the blizzard, not just the fog. Until then, he can keep dreaming.”
KC Rogers (smiling professionally): “There you have it. The champ admits the loss, respects the fight, but promises to shine brighter than ever when it matters most. Jack Frost, you’ve been warned. And Sandman? You might be getting sleepy, but Rudolph’s just getting started.”
Rudolph gives a firm nod and walks off, cape billowing slightly behind him as he disappears down the frosty corridor toward gorilla position. KC turns back to the camera.
KC Rogers: “Tonight’s title match is gonna be electric, folks. Stay tuned—Polar Power is far from cooling off!”
Fade to ringside.
Johnny: “Ladies and gentlemen, THIS is your NPCW Main Event of the evening! The North Pole Championship is on the line as the challenger, the icy-hearted menace Jack Frost, looks to dethrone the red-nosed icon himself—RUDOLPH!”
Eddie: “And thank Sleigh Satan, Johnny, because if I have to hear one more child chant ‘Rudy, Rudy,’ I’m going to jingle my own bells. Jack Frost is here to bring a little frostbite to Christmas.”
Johnny: “We’re underway, and WHOA! Jack Frost wasting no time—SNOWDRIFT SCISSORS right out of the gate!”
Eddie: “Textbook start! That’s why Frost is my pick—he doesn’t wait for milk and cookies, he kicks the door in and takes what he wants!”
Johnny: “Rudolph answers with some classic offense—a DOUBLE PUNCH connects, but Frost counters with that devastating ARCTIC BLAST!”
Eddie: “This is like watching winter punch you in the face! And I’m loving it!”
Johnny: “Flying offense from both men now—Rudolph with a FLYING DROPKICK, but Jack Frost brings the ICE STORM! They’re throwing everything at each other!”
Eddie: “It’s like watching a snowball fight between two bulldozers. But let’s be real, Johnny—Frost looks smoother, cooler, and hungrier.”
Johnny: “Momentum shifts again as Rudolph lands a thunderous CROSS BODY BLOCK! Jack Frost just eats it, though—barely budged!”
Eddie: “He's ice, Johnny! You can't break ice with reindeer fluff!”
Johnny: “We’re in the seventh minute—Rudolph with a HEADBUTT! That one shook the icicles loose!”
Eddie: “Well sure, he’s got a skull like a snowplow. I bet even Santa asks him to knock nails into wood.”
Johnny: “And now—OH! Flying Body Press—GUIDING LIGHT! Rudolph hits it clean!”
Eddie: “No! Come on, Jack! Get your frosty self outta there!”
Johnny: “Pin attempt! 1... 2—NO! Jack Frost kicks out!”
Eddie: “You can’t pin perfection, Johnny. Frost is just letting Rudy tire himself out.”
Johnny: “Another GUIDING LIGHT—this time Jack neutralizes it. Still fighting. Still icy.”
Eddie: “The only guiding light I want is the EXIT sign for Rudolph’s title reign!”
Johnny: “We’re deep into championship territory now—minute 15—Rudolph going back to the HEADBUTT!”
Eddie: “Is that all he knows how to do? What is he, a sleigh battering ram?”
Johnny: “He’s going for the pin again—1...2—kick out! Rudolph staying on him like wrapping paper on a last-minute gift!”
Eddie: “That metaphor was a crime.”
Johnny: “Wait a minute—LILITH’S getting involved! She’s up on the apron, shouting some kind of ancient winter curse into the ring!”
Eddie: “It’s motivation, Johnny! She’s just helping her boy stay frosty!”
Johnny: “Minute 22 now—Rudolph HEAD RAM TO GUT—and another pin attempt!”
Eddie: “NO! Don’t you DARE let that blinking beast win!”
Johnny: “One more CROSS BODY BLOCK—YES! It lands! RUDOLPH IS GOING FOR IT!”
Eddie: “No. No. No—"
Johnny: “ONE... TWO... THREE! IT’S OVER! RUDOLPH RETAINS THE NORTH POLE CHAMPIONSHIP!”
Eddie: “NOOOOO! He used that illegal holiday spirit! Somebody check if he’s got a candy cane tucked in his trunks!”
Johnny: “What a war! Jack Frost pushed Rudolph to the very limit tonight. But the guiding light still shines bright on the red-nosed champion!”
Eddie: “This is a tragedy. I need a cocoa and a contract review.”
[Post-match scene: Rudolph staggers to his hooves, belt raised high as snow begins to fall from the rafters. Lilith glares cold daggers into the ring while Jack Frost seethes on the floor, frostbitten pride wounded but not broken.]
Johnny: “The war may be won tonight, but with the Demonic Legion lurking in the shadows… Rudolph’s future? It’s anything but merry.”
Eddie: “You said it, Mic. The frost is coming… and next time, it might be permanent.”
END OF SHOW CHAOS
The room is dimly lit, candles flicker in twisted candelabras. Shadows stretch unnaturally across the stone walls. A monitor shows the closing minutes of the NPCW North Pole Championship match: Rudolph vs Jack Frost. Grinch Heyman and Krampus sit in the gloom, eyes locked on the screen. Heyman paces behind Krampus, who stands like a frozen mountain, arms folded, his breath misting with every exhale.
Grinch Heyman: (voice sharp with irritation) Come on, Jack! Pull the antlers off him already! That’s your moment, that’s your title! You had him in the Frostbite Clutch, for the love of Lucifer’s laundry—why didn't he tap?!
Krampus: (gravelly voice, cold and composed) The reindeer is tougher than you give him credit for. He thrives when cornered. It is the curse of the noble beast. But Jack... he hesitated. Again.
Grinch Heyman: (gritting his teeth) He had him dead to rights three times! Three times! Then that dumb flying sleigh-belly pulled out the Guiding Light—and Jack ate canvas!
Krampus: His pride clouded his vision. Frost’s talent is sharp, but unrefined. He fights to prove himself, not to win. That weakness has cost us tonight.
On the monitor, Rudolph pins Jack Frost clean with the CROSS BODY BLOCK. The referee counts three. The crowd explodes in cheers. The bell rings. Rudolph holds up the North Pole Championship as pyro flares. Jack lies dazed at his feet. Lilith scowls at ringside, teeth clenched.
Grinch Heyman: (staring daggers at the screen) That blasted red-nosed deer… again. Again! The people chant his name like he’s some sort of savior. They don’t see what’s coming.
Krampus: (quietly, his eyes glowing red) Then it’s time we show them.
Krampus turns and signals with a single, gloved hand. From the shadows behind them, a figure steps forward—massive, demonic, and dangerous. It’s Abaddon. His burning eyes never blink, and a low growl rumbles from deep in his chest.
Krampus: Go. Now. Let Rudolph celebrate… for the last time.
Abaddon nods once and marches out of the room like a walking apocalypse. The segment fades out as Grinch and Krampus watch him disappear down the hallway.
The bell has long since rung. Rudolph stands in the center of the ring, clutching the NPCW North Pole Championship high above his head. The crowd is electric, chanting his name. Snow flurries fall from the rafters in celebration. He climbs the ropes, raising his arms in triumph.
Johnny "The Mic" Michaels: What a win! Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer does it again! Another challenger, another holiday miracle! The North Pole Champion stands tall here tonight in front of the faithful!
Eddie Ellington: Yeah, yeah, great, wonderful. Let’s give the guy a candy cane and a participation ribbon while we’re at it. But he’s showboating, Johnny! Rookie mistake turning your back on a wounded Frost!
Suddenly, the crowd gasps as Jack Frost rises behind Rudolph like a phantom. His eyes are wide with fury. He rushes forward and SHOVES Rudolph hard off the ropes. The champ crashes down, ribs first onto the mat.
Johnny: Wait a second! JACK FROST FROM BEHIND! Oh come on! The match is over, Jack! You gave it everything, but this is crossing the line!
Eddie: He’s just giving Rudolph a little reality check! That’s what happens when you rub a loss in someone’s face. And here comes Lilith! She’s not letting her man swing alone tonight!
Lilith slides in and starts stomping away at the downed Rudolph. Frost joins her, boots slamming into the champion’s midsection. The jeers from the crowd are deafening.
Johnny: This is disgusting! That’s a two-on-one assault on the North Pole Champion! Where’s security?! Where’s someone to stop this madness?!
Eddie: You want mayhem, Johnny? You got it. Look at the screen—oh no… oh yes…
The camera cuts to the ramp as the lights dim and fire erupts on the stage. ABADDON storms down with purpose, face painted in darkness, eyes glowing like embers.
Johnny: Oh no! No! Not Abaddon! Not now! Somebody stop this!!
Eddie: That’s not just a message, Johnny—that’s a reckoning! Here comes the demon prince of punishment himself!
Abaddon slides into the ring like a prowling beast and joins the brutal beatdown. He grabs Rudolph by the throat and SLAMS him into the mat with a thunderous HELLBREAKER. The ring practically shakes.
Johnny: This is an all-out mugging! Abaddon, Jack Frost, and Lilith are tearing Rudolph apart limb by limb! This is NOT what the North Pole Championship is about!
Eddie: Tell that to Krampus. Speaking of which…
The camera cuts backstage. Krampus sits, hands folded. Watching. Smiling. His eyes gleam with sadistic satisfaction. He slowly rises to his feet.
Johnny: Oh no... Krampus is on the move! This was a setup the whole time! They’re going to finish Rudolph right here on live TV!
Suddenly—
“HERE COMES SANTA CLAUS” begins to BLARE across the arena!
The crowd erupts like a blizzard of cheers. The camera whips back to the ring where the trio halts. Jack, Lilith, and Abaddon all look up the ramp in shock. Smoke billows and lights flash red and green.
Johnny: YES! YES! IT’S HIM! IT’S SANTA CLAUS!!! THE BIG MAN IS HERE!!!
Eddie: Oh you've got to be kidding me… No! Not him! He’s supposed to be on the naughty list retirement tour!
The segment ends on a wide shot of the ramp as SANTA CLAUS, coat flaring and eyes blazing with purpose, steps through the curtain with fire in his heart and justice in his step.
Johnny: The holiday just got heavy, folks! Santa’s back—and he’s bringing a sleigh-load of vengeance with him!
The camera cuts back to the ring just as SANTA CLAUS, cloaked in crimson and fury, marches down the aisle like a storm in boots. The audience roars with elation—but there's an edge of awe, too. This isn’t the jolly old elf they’re used to… this is something colder.
Johnny “The Mic” Michaels (voice rising): Look at him, Eddie—look at the intensity in his eyes! That’s not just Saint Nick... that’s a force of nature storming down the chimney of chaos!
Eddie Ellington (tense): That’s a very mad Santa Claus, Johnny. And I wouldn’t want to be anyone in that ring when he gets there…
Backstage, the feed cuts to a monitor where GRINCH HEYMAN holds back KRAMPUS, who is already halfway out of his chair.
Krampus (snarling): I’m going out there! We end it now!
Grinch (grabbing his arm): No! No. Where Santa goes… others follow. This isn’t the time. Let him have the stage.
Krampus scowls but grits his teeth, reluctantly stepping back. Meanwhile, in the ring, ABADDON, LILITH, and JACK FROST stare wide-eyed as Santa reaches ringside. The crowd is on their feet, buzzing.
Johnny: The ring just got a whole lot colder—and it’s not because of Frost. Look at those three... they’re backing off! They don’t want a piece of Santa Claus!
The three villains slide out, hesitating just enough to show fear before retreating up the ramp. The fans erupt in cheers. SANTA steps into the ring, standing tall over the fallen NPCW Champion, RUDOLPH, who lies bloodied in the corner. Santa slowly walks over, boots crunching on the mat like thunder.
Eddie: He’s checking on Rudolph... maybe tonight there’s still a Christmas miracle to be had.
Santa kneels and extends his gloved hand. Rudolph groggily reaches out... and SANTA PULLS HIM UP with purpose. They stand eye to eye, the crowd hushed with anticipation. Rudolph’s eyes narrow. There's tension in his body. Something is… off.
Johnny (quietly): Wait... something’s wrong...
Suddenly—BOOM!—SANTA WHIPS RUDOLPH DOWN with a vicious short-arm lariat! The crowd gasps—shock echoing through the arena like a blizzard wind.
Johnny (screaming): WHAT?! NO!! WHAT DID HE JUST DO?! SANTA JUST LAID OUT RUDOLPH!!
Eddie (delighted): This... THIS is the best gift I’ve ever gotten! Santa’s been holding back! He’s been waiting! And now? Now the gloves are off!
Santa doesn’t hesitate. He yanks Rudolph to his knees, drags him toward the North Pole Championship title belt lying on the mat… lifts him high… and SPIKES HIM DOWN with a brutal piledriver onto the gold!
Blood pools beneath Rudolph’s head. He isn’t moving.
Johnny (devastated): Rudolph’s busted open… the champ is out cold! Someone stop this! Someone get out here!
But there’s no rescue. No music. Just Santa, looming like a wrathful mountain. He lifts Rudolph’s limp body again… and this time CHOKE SLAMS him straight into the mat like a thunderclap. The audience is silent. Not a cheer. Not a boo. Just stunned silence.
Santa picks up the North Pole Championship. He raises it high above his head… and plants one heavy boot on the motionless Rudolph.
Eddie (reverent): The new king has claimed his throne, Johnny. And he didn’t need reindeer games to do it.
Backstage, the camera cuts to a stunned GRINCH HEYMAN and KRAMPUS watching the monitor. Krampus throws his arms up in fury.
Krampus (furious): WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?! That was my shot!
Grinch (smirking): Nope… that was you… getting screwed.
Fade to black.
[NPCW Logo appears — End Show]
Holy cow
ReplyDelete