The Adventures of the Misfits of Mayhem - Episode 001 - Vlad's Machinations

 

The Adventures of the Misfits of Mayhem – Episode 1: “Vlad’s Machinations”

Madman Mason and Negropolis — the unlikeliest of heroes — have taken the North Pole by storm. Once cast aside by the Dark Dominion, they've clawed their way to the top, becoming NPCW Tag Team Champions and fan-favorite megastars. With Flippers by their side and Ace MacDougal cheering them on, the Misfits of Mayhem ride high on a wave of adoration.

Flippersmania runs wild. The cheers are deafening. The mission... forgotten.

But in the shadows, one does not forget.

Count Vlad, the cold-blooded architect of the Dark Dominion, watches from afar. And he does not tolerate failure.

The Misfits may have escaped the Dominion’s grasp — but Vlad is about to remind them:
No one leaves the Count.
No one fails the Dominion.
And every debt must be paid.

Scene: Backstage – HCW Arena – Dark Dominion Dressing Room

The room is cavernous and dim, lit only by the flickering glow of a candelabra atop a warped oak table. The concrete walls are draped in deep crimson and black velvet banners bearing the sigil of the Dark Dominion. The air is thick with incense and menace.

COUNT VLAD, regal and relaxed, lounges like a spider in the center of its web. His throne-like chair is obsidian leather with golden claw feet, and in one pale hand he swirls a blood-red wine in a crystal glass. His expression is thoughtful — and calculating. He speaks not, yet the silence he keeps is heavier than any shout.

Behind him, THE YETI paces like a caged storm, his massive frame hunched beneath the low beams, exuding primal fury. His breath fogs the air as he growls low under his breath, impatient for violence.

To the side, sitting on the floor with her knees hugged to her chest, is POLLY MASON. She hums to herself in an eerie, almost childlike tone, her tattered blue dress trailing behind her like a forgotten doll. Her hair is tousled. Her eyes gleam with madness and mischief. She doesn’t blink—she beams.

VLAD (finally speaking, to no one in particular)
Mmm… sweet aroma, dark vintage, decaying hope.

He sets the wine down with deliberate grace. Then, slowly, lifts an ornate gold phone carved with a serpent’s head and dials. After two rings, the line clicks. A voice answers, but we never hear it.

VLAD (calmly)
Do you know why they were sent there?

The voice stammers something on the other side.

VLAD (leaning forward)
Yes, yes, to sew chaos, to fracture unity... But more importantly: to remain unthreatening. The NPCW was never supposed to see the Dark Dominion. Not yet. That’s why those two simpletons were chosen.

He sips, then raises his voice ever so slightly — a rare spike of emotion.

VLAD
And now they are champions… beloved by the frothing crowds… and worst of all—inspired by that abominable, waddling little mascot… that penguin!

Polly giggles mid-hum and whispers to her reflection in a shard of broken mirror.

VLAD (darkly)
This… was not the plan. This makes breaking their spirits infinitely more… complicated. And if we cannot break them… we cannot consume them.

A pause as the voice responds. Vlad’s face twists into a soft sneer.

VLAD
Fix it. Immediately.

The voice grovels. Vlad’s eyes harden. His voice becomes ice.

VLAD
No excuses. I am sending help.

He ends the call with a tap, then reclines slowly. Yeti stops pacing, clenching his fists with excitement.

YETI (snarling)
Let me go back… let me feast on those two fools. I'll tear the smile off that penguin myself!

VLAD (sharply)
No. Your time here is not finished. There is still one spirit left to break.

He lets that linger in the air. Then, slowly, turns his gaze to Polly.

VLAD (gently, like a father addressing a favorite child)
My dear, sweet girl… it seems your loss to Molly has put you… at a crossroads. Unfortunate… but not without opportunity.

Polly’s face lights up like moonlight on broken glass. She tilts her head.

POLLY (softly)
I like crossroads… they're so twitchy.

VLAD
Then dance north, my threadspinner. Go to the North Pole. Bring your brother—and his ugly skull-faced friend—in line. Remind them where they came from. Remind them what waits in the dark. Crush the joy of the NPCW faithful.

Polly stands and begins to twirl, arms outstretched as if the room were a stage and she the prima ballerina of oblivion.

VLAD (to Yeti)
Contact Marcus. Tell him the plan must be accelerated. He is to meet Polly there.

YETI (grinning, showing yellowed teeth)
Marcus has been eager… to release them. It's a shame HCW won’t be their first stage. But NPCW? It will suffice.

VLAD (savoring the moment)
All in good time.

Polly begins to sing—soft at first, then rising into a chilling melody that echoes through the halls like the slow toll of an ancient bell.

---

🎵 "Thread by Thread (She Comes to Collect)" – A Polly Mason Song 🎵

Slow, gothic strings with ethereal humming beneath—music echoing through fog and broken clocks.

[Verse 1]
In the hush of frost and velvet ash,
Where brother laughs and chaos thrashes,
A thread undone, a bond mislaid—
She walks the veil to find what's frayed.

[Chorus]
Thread by thread, she stitches fate,
Guided by the old estate.
Not for love—no tears, no grace—
But to restore the Dominion’s place.

[Verse 2]
From caverns deep and halls unseen,
She sings of order, dark and clean.
He plays with fools, a laughing flame—
But shadows rise to call his name.

[Bridge – whispered chant]
"Blood knows blood, and masks fall slow...
The puppet must dance where the old winds blow…”

[Final Chorus]
Thread by thread, the needle flies,
Tugging truths through tangled lies.
One more stitch, and all resets—
She comes to collect what he forgets.

The last note hangs like a ghost in the air. Count Vlad raises his wine in toast.

VLAD (softly)
To chaos… properly woven.

Fade to black.