Aired - December 14, 2025
SHOW OPENING MONTAGE
🎵 Music: Industrial-metal theme with a pounding cold rhythm. The cracked ice bell remains, but now layered with a low male choir chant, like a ritual tone.
NARRATOR (Alton Bell, rich Welsh accent, smooth but sinister):
“In the frozen North… where mercy perishes… only the strongest endure. Welcome… to a brand-new era of Chill Factor.”
🌨️ [Static blast → Logo burn-in: CHILL FACTOR]
🎬 Montage Kicks In – synchronized to pounding riffs
Highlight Reels (Main Six)
Rudolph vs. Kong
Rudolph’s glowing nose cuts through the haze as he charges. Kong meets him mid-air with a brutal backhand that rattles the ring.
[SFX: Impact crunch → ice cracking]Sandman vs. Sinbad
Sandman coils Sinbad into the Icy Slumber Sleeper Hold, the arena lights dimming as Sinbad struggles and collapses.
[SFX: Deep exhale fading into silence]Frankenstein’s Monster Mark II Debut vs. Prancer
The stitched behemoth steps over the ropes like a living weapon. Prancer leaps — only to be snatched mid-air and driven through the canvas.
[SFX: Heavy slam + crowd gasp]Negropolis vs. Beast 1
The arena flickers into shadow as Negropolis consumes the ring in swirling void. Beast 1 claws forward, but is engulfed into darkness.
[SFX: Digital distortion + echoing scream]Abaddon vs. Sinbad
Abaddon hoists Sinbad crucifix-style before obliterating him into the mat with a demonic slam, sparks raining from overhead lights.
[SFX: Metal screech + guttural roar]Sinister Klaus vs. Friar Tuck
Klaus swings his chain like a guillotine, narrowly missing Tuck — who counters with a thunderous cross-body avalanche splash that shakes the posts.
[SFX: Chain whip + wood snapping]
Superstar Flashes (Quick Cuts – lightning-fast)
Santa Claus standing bloodied but unbroken.
Mean Jack Mason drilling someone with the Northern Lights Driver.
Kris Kringle smashing a candy cane over an opponent’s back.
The Beasts pounding their chests in unison as snow bursts up.
Big Bad Wolf snarling into the camera, breath steaming in the cold.
Van Helsing raising his silver stake toward the screen.
Transition: The Broadcast Team
Music dips to a steady pulse.
📺 Hammer Washington & Brick Brody at the announce deck, frost mist clinging to their monitors. Their voices bleeding into the track:
HAMMER: “This is the proving ground, baby — freeze or fall!”
BRODY: “Every match tonight will cut to the bone!”
Final Shot
The music falls to a dark hum.
💀 Dave “The Brute” Kent sits alone in his dim bunker studio. One swinging bulb, static crawling across the feed. His eyes lock on the viewer.
NARRATOR (Alton Bell, Welsh accent, almost whispering):
“In this new era… the cold does not kill. It crowns… and it condemns.”
❄️ Logo Slam:
CHILL FACTOR
“The Brand-New Era Has Begun.”
CROWD AND WELCOMING
The pyro erupts across the glittering NORTH POLE ARENA, showering the stage in icy-blue sparks. The cameras sweep through the roaring crowd—holiday banners waving, fake snow drifting from the rafters, and fans on their feet for another explosive episode of Chill Factor.
And the signs… oh, the signs.
FAN SHIRTS & SIGNS
1. SANDMAN
Shirt: “ENTER THE DREAM… NEVER WAKE UP.”
Sign 1: “NIGHTMARE FUEL: SANDMAN!”
Sign 2: “SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK—PAIN IS FOREVER!”
2. PRINCE CHARMING
Shirt: “CHISLED. CHARMING. CHAMPION-IN-WAITING.”
Sign 1: “KISS THE RING, PEASANTS!”
Sign 2: “THE FAIRYTALE KING IS HERE.”
3. KRAMPUS & THE DEMONIC LEGION
Shirt: “ALL HAIL THE ALPHA DEMON.”
Shirt 2: “LEGION LURKS. LEGION WAITS.”
Sign 1: “KRAMPUS IS COMING—YOU’VE BEEN BAD.”
Sign 2: “SUBMIT TO THE LEGION.”
4. SANTA CLAUS, KRIS KRINGLE & RUDOLPH
Shirt: “TEAM CHRISTMAS — DON’T STOP BELIEVIN’.”
Shirt 2: “GUIDING FORCE — RED NOSE STRONG.”
Sign 1: “SANTA, WE GOT YOUR BACK!”
Sign 2: “KRIS KRINGLE = OLD SCHOOL COOL.”
Sign 3: “RUDOLPH LEADS THE WAY TONIGHT!”
5. MEAN JACK MASON
Shirt: “MASON’S LAW: EVERYONE FALLS.”
Shirt 2: “POLLY APPROVED PAIN!”
Sign 1: “MEAN. NASTY. UNSTOPPABLE.”
Sign 2: “BOW TO THE TOP DOG!”
The cameras then glide toward the announce desk where HAMMER WASHINGTON and BRICK BRODY sit, both framed by the electric hum of the arena.
HAMMER WASHINGTON (bright, earnest, classic wrestling voice): “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Chill Factor Episode 013, coming to you LIVE from the legendary North Pole Arena! I’m Hammer Washington—and folks, what a night we have ahead of us! But before we get there, Brick… we have to address the shocking events from last night’s Polar Power. Santa Claus was brutally assaulted by Grim Tidings—Sinister Klaus, Hans Trapp, Belsnickel, and Knecht Ruprecht—and the entire wrestling world is still talking.”
BRICK BRODY (leaning back, gruff sneer already loaded): “Oh yeah, Hammer, the ‘jolly old elf’ got mauled. And y’know what? I’ve seen tougher men than Santa get left in parking lots because they were dumb enough to turn their backs. Grim Tidings didn’t do anything I wouldn’t have done back in ’87 after a bar fight in Reno. You wanna play in the deep end? You swim with the sharks—or you get bit! Santa got bit!”
HAMMER: “Well it was a disgraceful attack, and I hope there’s accountability—”
BRICK: “Accountability? This ain’t ballet, Hammer! You want ‘accountability,’ go watch curling. Grim Tidings sent a message, and next week at Nightmare at the North Pole, Sinister Klaus and Santa are gonna tear each other apart! And I’ll be honest—if Santa walks in still hurting from last night? That demon-elf hybrid freak is walking out with a trophy of Santa’s beard!”
HAMMER: “And speaking of that event—next week is the massive Nightmare at the North Pole Supercard! Championships on the line, grudges exploding, and Scrooge’s Glacier Plex SOLD OUT. Folks, if you thought last year was wild, this year… it’s going to be chilling.”
BRICK: “Nightmare’s the one night the North Pole stops pretending to be magical and shows its FANGS, Hammer. And I can’t wait. Krampus. Mason. Guiding Force. The Beasts. Camelot in WARGAMES. That whole show’s one long headache waiting for an ice pack!”
HAMMER: “But before we get to next week, we’ve got a stacked card TONIGHT. Let’s break it down.”
1. THE BEASTS vs THE RIVER REAPERS (Huck Finn & Tom Sawyer)
HAMMER: “A clash of styles—raw brutality meets wild river-scrapper brawling!”
BRICK: “Yeah, and the kids from the river are gonna get eaten. The Beasts haven’t had enough blood lately.”
2. SANDMAN vs PRINCE CHARMING
HAMMER: “A fascinating matchup—fear incarnate meets fairy-tale finesse.”
BRICK: “Prince Charming better be careful—Sandman’s the kind of guy who’ll choke you out and tuck you in at the same time. This’ll be an ugly bedtime story.”
3. BIG BAD WOLF vs SIR LANCELOT
HAMMER: “Camelot’s knight faces the alpha predator of the Wolf Pack!”
BRICK: “Lancelot’s good—real good—but Wolf? Wolf’s a bad night in a dark alley waiting to happen.”
4. MEAN JACK MASON vs ABADDON
HAMMER: “Two dangerous men, and this one could go either way.”
BRICK: “Hammer, let me explain something: Mason is the meanest S.O.B. in NPCW. Abaddon’s scary, sure, but Mason… Mason’s the kinda guy your nightmares hide from.”
5. KRAMPUS & JACK FROST vs THE MERRY BAND (Friar Tuck & Little John)
HAMMER: “A massive tag match—brute force meets clever teamwork!”
BRICK: “Hammer, Krampus and Jack Frost in the same corner? That’s not a tag team, that’s felony weather conditions.”
MAIN EVENT: SANTA CLAUS, KRIS KRINGLE & RUDOLPH vs SINISTER KLAUS, HANS TRAPP & KNECHT RUPRECHT
HAMMER: “This is deeply personal—after last night, Santa will be fighting with fire in his heart!”
BRICK: “And that fire’s gonna get stomped out by Grim Tidings! But hey, I’ll say this—Kringle can still throw a punch, and Rudolph’s tougher than people think. This one’s gonna be a brawl from bell to bell, Hammer. A real Christmas carol of carnage!”
HAMMER (closing the segment): “Folks, that’s what we’ve got lined up tonight—don’t go anywhere! Chill Factor Episode 013 is just getting started!”
BRICK: “Get your cocoa, get your popcorn, and strap in. Somebody’s leaving here limping!”
THE BUNKER
Camera cuts from the announce desk to the familiar, dimly lit industrial bunker set—concrete walls, flickering monitors, scattered notes, and the unmistakable presence of the North Pole’s most brutally honest analyst.
Dave “The Brute” Kent sits at his metal desk, papers spread everywhere, mug of black coffee steaming like it’s afraid of him. He doesn’t smile. He never does.
DAVE “THE BRUTE” KENT: “Good evening, folks. You’ve stepped into The Bunker—the only place in NPCW where you get the truth without the frosting, the sprinkles, or the corporate-approved holiday cheer. And tonight… well, tonight we’re talking WARGAMES. And I don’t mean a polite little chess match—I'm talking about two teams stepping inside a double-cage structure that was built by someone who clearly hates human joints.”
He turns slightly, motioning to his guest.
DAVE: “And joining me in the blast zone tonight is a man who knows battle, knows leadership, and knows a thing or two about pulling swords outta places they shouldn’t be—ladies and gentlemen, King Arthur.”
The camera widens.
KING ARTHUR, regal yet resolute, steps into frame, wearing a long velvet cloak with chainmail glinting beneath. He nods solemnly.
KING ARTHUR: “It is an honor to stand in this hall of truth, Sir Kent.”
DAVE (scoffs with a short laugh): “Buddy, you call this a ‘hall’ and you’re gonna break my landlord’s heart. But I appreciate it.”
Dave leans forward, elbows on the steel desk, eyes sharp.
DAVE: “Let’s not bury the lead here. Next week, Night Two—WARGAMES—the Champions of Camelot marching into a double cage with Frankenstein’s Monster, Kong, Ogre, Dragon King, and The Black Knight? Arthur, my friend, that ain’t a wrestling match. That’s a medieval disaster waiting to happen with four creatures who look like they escaped from a Halloween clearance aisle and one knight who hates your guts on a spiritual level.”
ARTHUR (chin raised with noble pride): “My Knights and I have faced darkness before—more ancient and terrible than even these beasts. But you are correct, Brute Kent—this will not be a contest of grace. It will be war.”
DAVE (points a pen at him): “See, that’s what worries me. These Monster’s Bash boys? They don’t do strategy. They don’t do finesse. They don’t even do coordinated footwork. They do one thing: smash whatever’s in front of ‘em until it stops moving. And adding The Black Knight? That’s gasoline on the wildfire. That man wakes up angry. I’ve seen him yell at shadows.”
Arthur straightens, eyes narrowing with knightly confidence.
ARTHUR: “The Black Knight is a traitor, a coward who hides behind brute strength and dark alliances. He has chosen his path, and I shall offer him mercy only once—before the match begins.”
DAVE (slams a hand on the desk): “And that’s exactly why people love you—and why Monsters Bash is gonna try to turn you into a medieval pancake! Arthur, let me be blunt: Wargames is not built for honor. It’s built for carnage. You, Lancelot, Gawain, Galahad—and now Prince Charming—are walking into a structure designed to hurt you. These monsters don’t care about code or chivalry. They care about making loud thudding noises with your bodies!”
Arthur neither flinches nor backs down.
ARTHUR: “Pain is but the toll one pays for righteousness, Brute Kent. My knights stand united. Prince Charming—though flamboyant—is brave and true-hearted. Together we shall endure and triumph.”
Dave throws up a hand, halfway between agreement and exasperation.
DAVE: “I’ll give Charming this—he’s arrogant as a peacock with a trust fund, but the kid can go. And if he actually listens to you? You might stand a chance. Because against a team this size, this strong, this monstrous—you’ll need more than courage. You’ll need strategy, conditioning, and a whole lotta luck.”
He pauses, leaning back in his chair.
DAVE: “Let me tell you what the numbers say. Historically—Wargames favors the team with the first entry advantage and the team with the size advantage. Monsters Bash have the size advantage so big it needs its own zip code. Camelot—your advantage is unity, teamwork, and actual brain cells.”
Arthur smiles softly.
ARTHUR: “We have faced giants, dragons, enchantments. We have won because we believe in each other. That unity cannot be measured in numbers, my friend.”
DAVE (grinning despite himself): “Sure it can. I measure everything. But I’ll give you this—Camelot isn’t walking into Wargames blind. You boys know how to fight together. You know how to bleed together. And sometimes? That beats muscle.”
He looks into the camera.
DAVE: “Next week, folks—Wargames. Camelot vs Monster’s Bash with The Black Knight stirring the pot. Someone’s leaving that cage changed for life—and I don’t mean spiritually.”
He turns back to Arthur.
DAVE: “Arthur, best of luck. You’re gonna need all of it.”
ARTHUR: “And yet we shall prevail. For Camelot.”
Dave watches him leave frame, then turns to camera one last time.
DAVE (dead serious): “Stick around. Because the only thing colder than tonight’s weather… is what’s waiting for these wrestlers next week.”
Fade out from The Bunker.
HAMMER WASHINGTON: “Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen! We’re kicking off tonight’s action with a big one—The Beasts, accompanied by Polly Mason and Marcus, taking on Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer, the River Reapers! And Brick, this should be a clash of two wildly different worlds.”
BRICK BRODY: “Oh, absolutely, Hammer. On one side you’ve got two mutated wrecking machines who look like they were built in a swamp lab run by the Ghost of Dr. Moreau—and on the other, Huck and Tom, the only tag team in NPCW who look like they rafted in from detention. This is my kind of chaos.”
1st Minute – ALL FOUR MEN BRAWL
HAMMER: “Whoa! We’re starting off hot—everyone in the ring! All four men throwing offense! Beast 1 with a bodyslam, Beast 2 with a side suplex—”
BRICK: “And Huck Finn hitting a Cut Throat Driver! Tom Sawyer firing off The Crucible Falcon Arrow! It's a four-way mugging, Hammer! I LOVE IT! You can’t teach teamwork like this—you just swing at everything that moves and pray you hit the right guy!”
2nd Minute – BEASTS DOUBLE TEAM
HAMMER: “Beast 1 and Beast 2 now isolating Huck Finn—Moonsault from Beast 1! And Beast 2 with a stiff headbutt!”
BRICK: “You ever get headbutted by something with bone density like that? I have, Hammer, and it’s why I only remember half of 1983. But Huck firing back with that Rolling Death Valley Driver—kid refuses to drown!”
3rd Minute – MORE DOUBLE TEAMING
HAMMER: “Beasts continuing the pressure—Back Suplex from Beast 1, and Beast 2 wrenching in that side headlock!”
BRICK: “Huck Finn answering with a Superkick straight to the jaw! Good! If you’re in there with monsters, kick ‘em till they forget their name!”
4th Minute – TAGS MADE
HAMMER: “Belly-to-Belly Suplex from Beast 1! Huck answers with a chop—tags Tom Sawyer! Beast tags out as well!”
BRICK: “Tom coming in fresh—let’s see if the river boy can outsmart the jungle boys.”
5th Minute – TOM SAWYER TAKES CONTROL
HAMMER: “Tom hits that Three-Quarter Nelson Suplex! Beast 2 felt that one!”
BRICK: “You can feel it from here, Hammer. That’s the kind of suplex you give your cousin if he steals your boat.”
6th Minute – POLLY MASON PROVIDES DISTRACTION
HAMMER: “Oh come on now! Polly Mason on the apron doing… what is that? A song and dance?!”
BRICK (DELIGHTED): “That’s BEAUTIFUL, Hammer! That’s ring awareness! That’s old-school distraction work! Tom Sawyer staring at her like he’s seeing a carnival mermaid!”
7th & 8th Minutes – TOM SAWYER DEFENSELESS
HAMMER: “Vertical Suplex by Beast 1! Tom can’t defend—he’s still rattled!”
BRICK: “Polly Mason: MVP so far.”
HAMMER: “Beast 2 with a headlock—pin attempt! ONE… TWO… Tom kicks out!”
BRICK: “That was close, Hammer. Too close.”
9th Minute – BEASTS MAINTAIN CONTROL
HAMMER: “Beast 2 with a side suplex—Tom Sawyer in big trouble.”
BRICK: “This is where boys either become legends or become pavement.”
10th Minute – DOUBLE TEAM SHUT DOWN
HAMMER: “Beasts try a double team, but Tom neutralizes both! Look at Sawyer fight!”
BRICK: “That’s river grit, Hammer. You grow up barefoot on a raft, you learn how to scrap.”
11th Minute – HIGH-RISK FROM TOM
HAMMER: “Tom Sawyer—TOPE CON GIRO! He wipes out both Beasts!”
BRICK: “Yeah, and Beast 2 almost got counted out—up at nine! That would’ve been embarrassing for a creature built like a diesel tank.”
12th Minute – HANGMAN’S NECKBREAKER!
HAMMER: “Another Neckbreaker from Tom Sawyer! He is taking it to the Beasts!”
BRICK: “I’ll admit it—Sawyer’s earning his payday tonight.”
13th Minute – TAG TO HUCK FINN
HAMMER: “Tom hits a Three-Quarter Nelson Suplex! Tags in Huck Finn!”
BRICK: “And business is about to pick up. Huck Finn’s the punch-you-in-the-mouth half of that team.”
14th Minute – HUCK FINN NEARLY STEALS IT
HAMMER: “SITOUT POWERBOMB! Huck with the cover—ONE! But Beast 2 kicks out!”
BRICK: “Slow-Count Sam strikes again! I’ve seen glaciers move faster!”
15th Minute – CLOSE CALL AGAIN
HAMMER: “Tom Sawyer back in—pin attempt! ONE! TWO! Beast 1 breaks it up!”
BRICK: “Good! The Beasts ain’t going down from a fancy cutter.”
16th Minute – MOMENTUM SWINGS
HAMMER: “Death Valley Driver by Sawyer! Beast 1 fires back with a headbutt!”
BRICK: “That’s what you do, Hammer—you headbutt ANYTHING that moves!”
17th Minute – DOUBLE TEAM FROM THE BEASTS
HAMMER: “Side headlock from Beast 2—big bodyslam from Beast 1!”
BRICK: “That’ll scramble your thoughts like holiday eggnog.”
18th & 19th Minutes – CHAOS BUILDS
HAMMER: “Tag to Beast 1—big Face Slam and huge Big Splash!”
BRICK: “And Huck STILL kicks out! Kid’s got more lives than a winter cat!”
20th Minute – TRADING HEAT
HAMMER: “Rolling Death Valley Driver from Huck Finn! Beast 1 answers with a Vertical Suplex!”
BRICK: “This is two men seeing who breaks first. My money? Neither knows how to spell ‘quit.’”
21st–22nd Minutes – DOUBLE TEAM BY THE REAPERS
HAMMER: “Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer now double-teaming! Rolling DVD! Neckbreaker! And Beast 1 is down!”
BRICK: “Kid hit that corkscrew dive like he’s trying to impress Mark Twain!”
HAMMER: “Beast 1 spills to the outside! Slow-Count Sam begins the count—”
BRICK: “He better not slow down NOW—”
HAMMER: “Eight… nine… TEN! That’s it! Beast 1 is counted out!”
BRICK: “And the river boys STEAL ONE! I didn’t see that coming, Hammer!”
HUCK FINN & TOM SAWYER DEFEAT THE BEASTS VIA COUNTOUT at the 22 MINUTE MARK
MEAN JACK MASON ON A RAMPAGE
Location: The concrete-and-chrome backstage interview zone, lights overexposed just enough to make Slick Ricky sweat through his sequined blazer.
The camera cuts backstage to Slick Ricky Vega, microphone in hand, hair teased like it’s stuck in a glam-metal music video. He leans toward the lens with dramatic swagger.
SLICK RICKY VEGA: “Laaaaaadies and gentlemen, rockstars and rebels of the North Pole—Slick Ricky Vega here, the sultan of smooth, the maestro of mayhem, and I am standing with none other than the two-belt terror himself… the King of Knockouts… the Mean Machine—MEAN! JACK! MASON!”
Mason walks into frame with Polly Mason at his side. Mason looks coiled and dangerous. Polly smiles sweetly—too sweetly.
SLICK RICKY: “Champ, baby—last night on Polar Power Episode 037, you had a showdown with the former friend, one-time bro-in-arms, the Crypt Keeper of Chaos himself… Negropolis. And—well, daddy—he pinned ya. Walk us through it, Mean Machine.”
Mason leans into the mic, jaw tightening.
MEAN JACK MASON: “Slick, you wanna know what happened last night? Simple. Negropolis got lucky. Real lucky. That win? That wasn’t destiny. That wasn’t momentum. That was a charity gift, wrapped up in a glitch and a moment of distraction. He got one over. Good for him.”
He cracks his knuckles.
“But one win doesn’t erase the fact that I carried him for months. Doesn’t erase the fact I outclass him every time I breathe. Negropolis wants to celebrate? Fine. I hope he enjoyed last night… because it’ll never happen again.”
Polly nods proudly, tapping the Universal title around Mason’s waist.
POLLY MASON: “My brother is still THE top dog in NPCW. One fluke doesn’t change the food chain.”
SLICK RICKY: “And talk about food chain, my man—you’re up AGAIN tonight! The Universal Champ stepping back into the ring against the Demonic Legion’s own demon-on-legs… Abaddon! Jack, daddy, is this wise? You’re hittin’ back-to-back shows harder than a double encore at a sold-out stadium!”
Mason smirks.
MASON: “You think this is a problem? This is exactly what I want. Nightmare at the North Pole is next weekend, two nights, back-to-back. You think I’m gonna walk in rusty? Nah.”
“I’m sharpening myself. Abaddon? He’s just the whetstone. And when I’m done, the Legion’s gonna realize I don’t fear demons, monsters, or whatever bedtime story they crawled out of. I’m Mean Jack Mason. I don’t get ready. I stay ready.”
SLICK RICKY: “Beautiful, absolutely beautiful—BUT, we gotta talk about something that just shook the backstage grapevine, daddy-o. Your boys—your monstrous menagerie—the Beasts? They just took an L out there against Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer. They looked a little… docile. Like they were running on low battery instead of full beast mode. What’s the deal, Mean Machine?”
Mason’s face darkens.
Polly’s smile freezes.
MASON (low, dangerous): “There is nothing wrong with the Beasts.”
SLICK RICKY (nervous laugh): “Sure, sure, champ, but they didn’t look like their usual tear-your-face-off selves—”
Jack steps closer. Vega instinctively steps back.
MASON: “They’re fine. They had an off night. It happens. Even monsters sleep. But know this—when it matters? When the stakes are high? The Beasts wake up hungry. And tonight’s loss?”
“That just means someone else is getting mauled next time.”
Polly steps forward, gently placing a hand on Mason’s arm—like she’s controlling a storm.
POLLY: “The Beasts will be ready. We will be ready. Nightmare at the North Pole is our weekend. Jack walks out still Universal Champion, still North Pole Champion—and the Beasts walk out breaking bones. That’s the plan.”
SLICK RICKY (recovering his showman flair): “Well there you have it, my holiday headbangers! The Mean Machine says last night was a fluke, tonight’s a tune-up, and the Beasts are waking up hungry! Nightmare at the North Pole beware—Mean Jack Mason is comin’ to headline the show like a pyrotechnic finale!”
He leans dramatically toward the camera.
SLICK RICKY: “Back to you, cats and kittens at ringside—this is Slick Ricky Vega, signin’ off and tuning out!”
Camera fades back toward the announce desk.
HAMMER WASHINGTON: “Well folks, strong words there from the Universal and North Pole Champion, Mean Jack Mason. You can hear the intensity in his voice—he’s not taking that loss to Negropolis lightly, and he’s treating tonight’s match with Abaddon as preparation for a massive weekend at Nightmare at the North Pole. Brick, what’s your take?”
BRICK BRODY (snorts): “My take, Hammer? That’s the most honest thing you’ll hear all night. Mason walked in there mad, mean, and ready to punch the next living thing that breathes too loud—and THAT is why he’s holding two belts. You think I care he lost to Negropolis last night? Please. One loss don’t make a man soft. If anything, it makes him more dangerous. I’ve seen Mason after a bad night, Hammer—trust me, nobody wants to be Abaddon tonight.”
HAMMER: “I… I can’t argue with that. Mason looked laser-focused—”
BRICK: “Focused? Hammer, that man looked like he was calculating which vertebra he’s gonna rearrange on Abaddon. And I LOVE IT. This is what champions do—they get knocked down, they get mad, and they go break somebody to feel better.”
HAMMER (hesitant): “Well, I’m not sure that’s a healthy philosophy but—”
BRICK: “Oh stop it, Hammer. This is wrestling, not therapy! And let me tell you something else—Polly Mason? She’s the scariest part of the whole thing! You see that smile? That’s the smile of a woman who already knows the outcome of the next three matches.”
HAMMER: “She certainly looked confident, and she insisted there’s nothing wrong with the Beasts after their loss moments ago.”
BRICK: “Yeah, and THAT’S the part I’m not buyin’. The Beasts looked off, Hammer. Docile. Like somebody swapped out their raw meat for a salad. SOMETHING is wrong in the Primal Horde tonight—but if Mason doesn’t want to talk about it? I’m not askin’ twice.”
HAMMER: “Well, whether there’s trouble brewing or not, Mason’s in action later tonight, and after that fiery statement? Abaddon may be walking into a war.”
BRICK: “And if Abaddon’s smart, he’ll walk right back out before the bell rings.”
HAMMER: “Ladies and gentlemen, stay with us—because coming up next is Match Two: Sandman versus Prince Charming!”
BRICK: “A nightmare versus a narcissist—finally, a match where I want both guys to lose!”
Cut to commercial / next segment.
HAMMER WASHINGTON: “Welcome back, folks! It’s time for Match Two—Sandman, the bringer of nightmares, taking on Prince Charming, the self-proclaimed heartthrob of the North Pole Arena! This one’s going to be fascinating, Brick.”
BRICK BRODY: “Yeah, fascinating like watching a deer wander into a lumber mill. Prince Charming’s pretty, Hammer, but Sandman? Sandman’s the kinda guy who shows up in your dreams holding a shovel.”
1st Minute
HAMMER: “And we’re underway! Sandman opens with a spinning fist strike—oh! And Prince Charming answers with that acrobatic senton!”
BRICK: “I’ll give Charming this—kid flips good. That won’t help when Sandman decides to rearrange his jawline, but hey, it looks nice.”
2nd Minute
HAMMER: “Sandman with a backbreaker—textbook execution! Prince Charming fires back with that rope-bounce cutter!”
BRICK: “You know how many times I’ve seen a guy try a fancy cutter in the ’80s? Zero. Because we were too busy punching each other in the face to climb ropes.”
3rd Minute
HAMMER: “GO TO SLEEP from Sandman! Prince Charming took every bit of that!”
BRICK: “And good! Maybe that’ll humble him! Guy walks around like he’s posing for a perfume ad.”
4th Minute
HAMMER: “Sandman locking in the Sleeper! Could this be it—no! Prince Charming stays alive with that Yakuza kick!”
BRICK: “He kicked him like he was trying to beat the line at a night club. Respect.”
5th Minute
HAMMER: “Standing clothesline! Sandman nearly decapitates him!”
BRICK: “That was beautiful. That’s the kind of hit you feel in your fillings.”
6th Minute
HAMMER: “Both men tangle—Sandman again with the clothesline! Charming somehow hits that rope-bounce cutter AGAIN!”
BRICK: “It’s like a merry-go-round of poor decisions.”
7th Minute
HAMMER: “Spin heel kick from Sandman! Senton again from Prince Charming!”
BRICK: “I’ve seen more sentons tonight than in my entire career. And I hate it.”
8th Minute
HAMMER: “Oh! Sandman’s Sleep Dust to the Eyes! Charming couldn’t defend it!”
BRICK: “Throwing dust in a man’s face. THAT’S wrestling! That’s a veteran move!”
HAMMER: “Sandman with a pin! One! Two—no! Prince Charming kicks out!”
9th Minute
HAMMER: “Prince Charming connects with the Urbanizer Neckbreaker! Sandman didn’t see it coming!”
BRICK: “That’s the most dangerous thing Charming has done all match. Kid’s waking up now.”
10th Minute
HAMMER: “GO TO SLEEP! AGAIN! Prince Charming stunned! Cutter attempt—NO! He didn’t get it all!”
BRICK: “Charming’s one bad landing away from calling his stylist!”
11th Minute
HAMMER: “Tornado DDT from Charming! But Sandman hits a clothesline at the same time!”
BRICK: “That’s called ‘two idiots meeting in the middle.’ Love it.”
12th Minute
HAMMER: “GO TO SLEEP for the third time! Sandman covers—ONE—but Charming kicks out again!”
BRICK: “That’s guts. Or stupidity. Hard to tell.”
13th Minute
HAMMER: “Sleeper hold AGAIN! Prince Charming fading—no! He refuses to submit!”
BRICK: “Never underestimate the ego of a man who moisturizes.”
14th Minute
HAMMER: “Yakuza Kick from Prince Charming! He caught Sandman off-balance!”
BRICK: “Finally! He fights like he wants to keep that pretty face intact!”
15th Minute
HAMMER: “SLEEP DUST to the Eyes! But Charming comes crashing down with that corkscrew splash!”
BRICK: “High-flyin’ nonsense, Hammer. But it worked, I’ll give him that.”
16th Minute
HAMMER: “Clothesline from Sandman! He’s got him down—cover! One—no! Charming kicks out again!”
BRICK: “I’m gonna start charging this guy rent for how often he’s lying on his back.”
17th Minute
HAMMER: “Counter after counter—Sandman reverses, Charming reverses back—and ends with Sandman neutralizing the moonsault!”
BRICK: “That was a whole dance recital I didn’t sign up for.”
18th Minute
HAMMER: “Sleep Dust AGAIN! Prince Charming still fighting—Senton connects!”
BRICK: “That boy loves jumping on people. Therapy. Get some.”
19th Minute
HAMMER: “CRADLE SUPLEX! Sandman bridges—ONE! TWO! THREE! It’s over!”
BRICK: “And there goes Prince Charming’s beauty sleep!”
SANDMAN DEFEATS PRINCE CHARMING VIA PINFALL at the 19 MINUTE MARK
HAMMER WASHINGTON: “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Chill Factor! We are ready for Match Three—Sir Lancelot of the Champions of Camelot stepping into the ring with the monstrous, savage force of nature known as the Big Bad Wolf! Brick, this one could get ugly in a hurry.”
BRICK BRODY: “Oh, it’s gonna get ugly, Hammer. You ever see a knight try to fistfight a grizzly bear? ’Cause that’s what we’re about to watch. Wolf doesn’t wrestle—he mauls. And I love it.”
1st Minute
HAMMER: “Right out of the gate—Big Bad Wolf with a sit-out facebuster! Lancelot tried to defend, but the Wolf just planted him!”
BRICK: “Yeah! THAT’S how you start a match! You don’t lock up, you don’t dance around—you smash a man’s face into the mat and see what’s left!”
2nd Minute
HAMMER: “Power slam from Wolf! Lancelot fires off a rolling elbow! Tremendous resilience!”
BRICK: “Elbow was cute, Hammer, but Wolf shakes off strikes like I shake off parking tickets.”
3rd Minute
HAMMER: “Wolf grinding Lancelot’s face into the canvas—oh that is vicious! But Lancelot answers with a Falcon Arrow!”
BRICK: “You gotta do more than throw him, Hammer—you gotta keep him DOWN. That’s the hard part.”
4th Minute
HAMMER: “Merlin on the outside—THROWS FLASH POWDER! The Wolf is blinded!”
BRICK (laughing): “Oh NOW we’re cooking! Camelot cheating like it’s a renaissance fair brawl! Beautiful!”
5th Minute
HAMMER: “SAVAGE SPEAR from Big Bad Wolf! He nearly cut Lancelot in half!”
BRICK: “Flash powder wears off, Hammer, but broken ribs don’t.”
6th Minute
HAMMER: “The Wolf Pack at ringside—foreign object slipped into play! Lancelot couldn’t block it!”
BRICK: “That’s teamwork! Tag team psychology! Who cares if it’s illegal? Not me!”
7th Minute
HAMMER: “Lancelot hits an enzuigiri! Wolf stumbles!”
BRICK: “You kick a wolf in the head, you better pray it stays down. Spoiler: it won’t.”
8th Minute
HAMMER: “Merlin AGAIN—MESMERIZE FOE! Wolf is dazed!”
BRICK: “Merlin’s out here running a hypnosis seminar! Someone test that wizard for performance-enhancers!”
9th Minute
HAMMER: “Pedigree from Lancelot! But the Wolf Pack rushes in—DOUBLE ATTACK! Honest Abe missed it!”
BRICK: “He didn’t ‘miss’ it, Hammer—he respected it. Referees know not to get in the way of a good mugging.”
10th Minute
HAMMER: “Wolf choking Lancelot on the ring rope! Abe trying to separate them!”
BRICK: “Let the man cook, Abe! That’s how you wear down a knight—use the battlefield!”
11th Minute
HAMMER: “Clawing at the back! Lancelot with another rolling elbow!”
BRICK: “Wolf’s back is tougher than Lancelot’s armor, Hammer.”
12th Minute
HAMMER: “Falcon Arrow from Lancelot! Wolf took the full impact!”
BRICK: “Knight’s rallying. Dangerous time—wolves get mad when cornered.”
13th Minute
HAMMER: “Wolf Pack AGAIN—Gang Up attack! But Lancelot STILL manages an enzuigiri!”
BRICK: “That man has kicked more heads tonight than a bouncer on New Year’s Eve.”
14th Minute
HAMMER: “Superkick from Lancelot! Wolf eating shot after shot!”
BRICK: “Yeah, but Wolf eats shots the way I eat chicken wings—quickly and angrily.”
15th Minute
HAMMER: “Wolf choking Lancelot on the ropes again—but Lancelot nails another enzuigiri!”
BRICK: “That kid’s shinbones must be forged steel.”
16th Minute
HAMMER: “Another Superkick! Big Bad Wolf rocked!”
BRICK: “Wolf needs to bite somebody. That’s the problem—too much wrestling, not enough savaging.”
17th Minute
HAMMER: “Lancelot catching Wolf again with an enzuigiri, but Wolf drags him down and rubs his face into the mat!”
BRICK: “That’s right! Go primal!”
18th Minute
HAMMER: “SAVAGE SPEAR! But Lancelot counters with a running bulldog! Both men down!”
BRICK: “And here comes trouble, Hammer—MARCUS THE BEASTMASTER has arrived!”
HAMMER: “Oh no—Wolf spots him!”
BRICK: “Look at that stare! That’s the look a wolf gives another predator before a territory fight.”
19th Minute
HAMMER: “Wolf is distracted—this is dangerous! Lancelot climbing—RUNNING SHOOTING STAR PRESS! COVER!”
BRICK: “Wolf didn’t even see it coming! He was too busy snarling at Marcus!”
HAMMER: “Abe counts—ONE! TWO! THREE! Lancelot wins! Lancelot wins!”
BRICK: “And Wolf is gonna rip somebody apart after this.”
Wolf rolls out of the ring, breathing like a furnace, eyes locked on Marcus the Beastmaster.
Marcus grins.
Wolf glowers back with murderous intent.
SIR LANCELOT DEFEATS BIG BAD WOLF VIA PINFALL at the 19 MINUTE MARK
BIG BAD WOLF HOWLS
Location: A dimly lit backstage hallway, fog machines hissing lightly, giving the space a predatory atmosphere.
The camera cuts backstage to Slick Ricky Vega, already sweating under a glittering magenta blazer and holding a microphone decorated with rhinestones. He flicks his hair back, tries a smirk, and addresses the camera.
SLICK RICKY VEGA: “Laaaaadies, gentlemen, and all my beautiful beasts in between—Slick Ricky Vega here, back again to serenade your senses with another backstage EXCLUSIVE! And joining me now… the lupine legend… the alpha outlaw… the Howling Heartthrob—BIG! BAD! WOLF!”
Wolf steps into frame with that unmistakable swagger—slow, dangerous, dripping confidence despite the loss. One toothpick in his mouth, another behind his ear. The necklace of clawed trinkets jingles as he rolls his shoulders.
BIG BAD WOLF (slow grin): “Chico… you better watch that tone. You call me ‘heartthrob’ one more time… maybe I bite.”
Vega gulps but smirks through it—barely.
SLICK RICKY: “A-all in good fun, daddy! But Wolf, we gotta talk about what just happened out there. You just took a loss to Sir Lancelot after—let’s call it like it is—Marcus the Beastmaster strutted out and got in your head like an unwelcome bass solo. Walk us through it, big man.”
Wolf removes the toothpick, flicks it offscreen with dramatic disrespect.
BIG BAD WOLF: “Let me tell you something, chico… Lancelot didn’t beat me. Nah. What beat me… was distraction.”
He points a clawed finger at the camera.
“Marcus… he wanted my eyes. He got them. For one second. Just one. And that’s all that knight needed to steal a pin. But don’t get it twisted—Wolf ain’t hurt. Wolf ain’t scared. Wolf ain’t runnin’.”
He steps closer, looming over Vega.
“Wolf is hungry.”
SLICK RICKY: “And speaking of hunger, amigo—next weekend at Nightmare at the North Pole, it’s you versus Marcus one-on-one. The Beastmaster versus the Big Bad Wolf. That sounds like a match tailor-made to tear this place down!”
Wolf smirks with slow, feral menace.
BIG BAD WOLF: “Marcus… The Beastmaster…”
He chuckles darkly.
“Chico, he been barking for months. Sniffing at my territory. Stirrin’ things up in the Wolf Pack. And now? Now he steps up. Now he wanna play alpha.”
Wolf shakes his head, amused and dangerous.
“Marcus thinks he knows beasts. Thinks he controls ‘em. But he never met one like me. He can’t tame this wolf. He can’t leash me. And at Nightmare at the North Pole? He steps in the ring with the apex.”
He raises his hand, curling fingers into claws.
“And when an apex predator smells weakness? He pounces. And chico… I smell Marcus. I smell fear. I smell a man who don’t know what’s comin’.”
SLICK RICKY (nervous laugh): “Well, uh, daddy, it sounds like you’re ready to feast out there—”
Wolf cuts him off, stepping dangerously close, toothpick back in his mouth like a threat.
BIG BAD WOLF: “I don’t ‘feast’… I devour. Marcus wanted my attention? He got it. Now he gotta survive it.”
Wolf smirks, pats Vega on the cheek with two clawed fingers—too gently to be comforting.
BIG BAD WOLF: “Careful, chico. Wolves bite.”
Wolf walks offscreen with that slow, confident swagger.
Vega exhales in relief, fixing his hair and turning back to the camera.
SLICK RICKY VEGA: “Well there you have it, my wild wanderers! The Big Bad Wolf is wounded, but not weakened—focused, furious, and ready to make Marcus the Beastmaster his midnight snack at Nightmare at the North Pole! Stay tuned—because things are only getting wilder tonight!”
Cut back to ringside.
HAMMER WASHINGTON: “Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen! It’s time for our fourth match of the night—non-title action featuring the double champion, Mean Jack Mason, accompanied by Polly Mason, taking on the monstrous enforcer of the Demonic Legion, Abaddon! Brick, this one could send shockwaves into Nightmare at the North Pole next weekend.”
BRICK BRODY: “Shockwaves? Hammer, this ain’t shockwaves—this is two junkyard dogs locked in a phone booth. And there ain’t enough room for both of ‘em to breathe. This is what wrestling SHOULD be: fists, fury, and bad intentions!”
1st Minute
HAMMER: “Mason goes for that low blow right out of the gate—Family Jewels Therapy! But Abaddon reverses it—vertical suplex—NO! Mason counters! PERSONALITY DISORDER STUNNER!”
BRICK: “NOW we’re talkin’! Mason said he wanted to tune up for next weekend, and he’s tuning up Abaddon’s spine!”
2nd Minute
HAMMER: “Mason again trying for the low blow—this time Abaddon blocks it!”
BRICK (snorts): “Abaddon’s been hit low so many times he probably doesn’t feel it anymore. Smart strategy? Yes. Effective? Not tonight!”
3rd Minute
HAMMER: “Mason with the Rude Awakening press! Abaddon hits a suplex at the same time—both men crashing! Mason with a quick pin—only two!”
BRICK: “That sly jackal’s tryin’ to steal one early. I respect that! Champions should ALWAYS cheat first!”
4th Minute
HAMMER: “Mason clamps in a sleeper! Abaddon fighting through—Hellbreaker backbreaker!”
BRICK: “That’s how you get a man off you—crack him in half!”
5th Minute
HAMMER: “Abaddon with a suplex—he’s taking control!”
BRICK: “Of course he is. You don’t grow horns out your soul for nothing.”
6th Minute — POLLY INTERFERES
HAMMER: “Oh come on—Polly Mason on the apron performing that sing-song distraction again!”
BRICK (laughing hard): “It works EVERY TIME, Hammer! Every! Time! You don’t fight the Masons—you fight the family!”
7th Minute
HAMMER: “Mason unloading with Therapy Session punches! Abaddon is taking a beating!”
BRICK: “That’s pent-up rage, Hammer. That’s a man who failed last night and refuses to fail twice.”
8th Minute
HAMMER: “Rude Awakening—NO! Abaddon neutralizes it!”
BRICK: “Abaddon is too angry to stay down. Demon energy, Hammer. You wouldn’t understand.”
9th Minute
HAMMER: “Final Diagnosis elbow drop! Right to the chest!”
BRICK: “That’s a medical bill that Demon Daddy ain’t paying!”
10th Minute
HAMMER: “Mason—ANOTHER Final Diagnosis! Abaddon still down!”
BRICK: “This is the champ we know—ruthless, relentless, and meaner than a blizzard.”
11th Minute
HAMMER: “Mason with a low blow—Abaddon with a throat punch! Both men connecting!”
BRICK: “Oh that’s BEAUTIFUL. Pure violence. Makes my heart grow three sizes.”
12th Minute
HAMMER: “Mason goes for the Stunner again—Abaddon blocks it!”
BRICK: “Smart! Demons don’t get stunned easily. They’re used to chaos.”
13th Minute
HAMMER: “Rude Awakening by Mason! Abaddon counters with a Netherstrike! Both men trading!”
BRICK: “This is the kind of fight that ruins careers—and I LOVE IT!”
14th Minute
HAMMER: “SHUT-IN SLAM! Mason hooks the leg—ONE! But Abaddon kicks out!”
BRICK: “That was desperation! Mason smelled blood and went for the kill!”
15th Minute
HAMMER: “Another Rude Awakening! Another Hellbreaker! These two are destroying each other! Mason with another cover—TWO! Abaddon kicks out AGAIN!”
BRICK: “They’re not wrestlin’ anymore, Hammer—they’re SURVIVING. That’s the difference.”
The bell rings suddenly.
HAMMER (confused): “That’s… that’s the time limit! Honest Abe calls the match! It’s a 15-minute draw!”
BRICK: “A DRAW?! These two animals were just gettin’ warmed up! Hammer, this ain’t over. Next weekend? Someone’s goin’ to the hospital.”
MEAN JACK MASON vs ABADDON ENDS IN A 15-MINUTE TIME LIMIT DRAW
HAMMER WASHINGTON: “Welcome back, folks! It’s time for tag team action as Krampus and Jack Frost—accompanied by the ever-scheming Grinch Heyman—square off against Friar Tuck and Little John of the Merry Band! Brick, this is going to be a clash of two VERY different worlds.”
BRICK BRODY: “Oh absolutely, Hammer. On one side, you’ve got the Demon of December and the Iceman of Ill Intent. On the other? A monk and a lumberjack who look like they wandered out of a renaissance faire after eating all the turkey legs. This is gonna be GREAT.”
1st Minute — DOUBLE TEAM START
HAMMER: “We’re not wasting ANY time—Jack Frost and Krampus double-teaming Friar Tuck! Tundra Twist by Frost! Krampus follows with the Krampus Krush!”
BRICK: “That’s how you start a match! Smash the smaller guy FIRST. Friar Tuck’s built like a butterball turkey—easy pickings!”
2nd Minute
HAMMER: “Friar Tuck tries a sleeper—Jack Frost reverses it and hits that icy knife-edge chop! What a counter!”
BRICK: “Yeah, that’s a chop that’ll frostbite your sternum.”
HAMMER: “Tags on both sides—Krampus and Little John now legal!”
3rd Minute
HAMMER: “Krampus with a German Suplex—my word! Little John felt ALL of that!”
BRICK: “I’m amazed he survived long enough to kick out! That suplex looked like it was fired from a trebuchet!”
4th Minute
HAMMER: “Oh no—Grinch Heyman just smashed Little John with his mobile phone!”
BRICK (delighted): “That’s a business expense, Hammer! That’s Heyman earning his paycheck!”
HAMMER: “Little John retaliates—NO! He misses completely!”
BRICK: “Ha! Swinging at Heyman is like trying to slap a shadow.”
5th Minute
HAMMER: “Friar Tuck in now—reverse chin lock on Krampus!”
BRICK: “That’s cute. Trying to choke a demon. Might as well try hugging a tornado.”
6th Minute
HAMMER: “Another German Suplex from Krampus! Little John is rocked!”
BRICK: “That’s about 400 pounds of punishment he’s absorbing. Man’s gonna need a chiropractor, a priest, and a vacation.”
7th Minute
HAMMER: “Holiday Havoc from Krampus—pummeling Friar Tuck!”
BRICK: “Good! Hit the monk! Knock the jolliness right outta him!”
8th Minute
HAMMER: “SINISTER SUPLEX AGAIN! Friar Tuck bouncing off the mat! Pin attempt—Tuck kicks out!”
BRICK: “He kicked out because he’s too round to stay flat, Hammer!”
HAMMER: “Oh stop it.”
9th Minute
HAMMER: “Jack Frost in now—Ice Storm elbow drop! Cover—Tuck kicks out again!”
BRICK: “That guy’s got more lives than a Christmas cat!”
10th Minute — SHOCKER
HAMMER: “Krampus back in—Nightmare’s End DDT! That could be it—but Friar Tuck splashes him! HE’S COVERING KRAMPUS!”
BRICK: “WHAT?! NO WAY—”
HAMMER: “ONE! TWO! THREE! HE GOT HIM! FRIAR TUCK JUST PINNED KRAMPUS!”
BRICK (in disbelief): “No. No. I refuse. A monk just pinned the Demon of December. This is why I hate modern wrestling.”
POST-MATCH CHAOS
HAMMER: “Oh no—Abaddon is here! Abaddon, Krampus, and Jack Frost are all over Friar Tuck and Little John! The Merry Band is being dismantled!”
BRICK (laughing): “See? THIS is justice! You pin a demon, you get punished!”
HAMMER: “But wait—WAIT! FROM THE RAFTERS—IT’S ROBIN HOOD! ROBIN HOOD IS HERE!”
BRICK: “That parkour prince is dropping in from the ceiling like he thinks he’s Batman!”
HAMMER: “And he’s swinging arrows—NO, not the sharp kind! He’s jabbing with his fists! The Merry Band is FIGHTING BACK!”
BRICK: “This is madness! We’ve got a medieval melee breaking out!”
HAMMER: “The reunited Merry Band has cleared the Legion from the ring! Friar Tuck, Little John, and Robin Hood stand tall!”
BRICK: “Yeah, enjoy it while it lasts—they just made enemies of a demon, an ice elemental, and a manipulative elf lawyer!”
FRIAR TUCK & LITTLE JOHN DEFEAT KRAMPUS & JACK FROST VIA PINFALL at the 10 MINUTE MARK
SINISTER TIDINGS
Location: A darkened backstage storage bay lit by flickering red bulbs and swirling fake snow. A giant broken candy cane is on the floor. Fenwick Grimbough is grinning unnervingly. Hans Trapp scrapes a rusty hook along the concrete. Knecht Ruprecht clutches a sack that growls. Belsnickel paces like an angry elf gone wrong.
The camera cuts backstage to Slick Ricky Vega, sweat gleaming under the dim lights like he’s standing in a haunted Christmas attraction.
He forces a grin, trying to hide the tremor in his voice.
SLICK RICKY VEGA: “Laaaaadies and gentlemen, rockstars of the North Pole, Slick Ricky Vega here—and I’m standing with… well… the bad boys of the blizzard—the monstrous, malicious, and, uh, deeply unsettling Grim Tidings.”
He steps back a bit, wisely creating space between himself and Hans Trapp’s hook.
SLICK RICKY: “And of course… the Sinister One himself… the man who turned last night’s Polar Power into a horror movie… SINISTER KLAUS.”
Sinister Klaus steps forward—slow, looming, theatrical at his most venomous. His beard is twisted into sharp icy angles. His coat is black leather with jagged silver trim. He rips off his sunglasses with a flourish.
SINISTER KLAUS (low, venomous laugh): “Well let me tell you somethin’, brother… Santa Claus… old Nick himself… last night? Last night you finally learned what happens when the REAL Father Christmas comes home.”
Grimbough giggles. Belsnickel cracks his knuckles. Ruprecht’s sack writhes.
SINISTER KLAUS: “For decades, Santa strutted around this place, handin’ out gifts, hoggin’ the spotlight, actin’ like he OWNS the holiday. But the truth is—SANTA became weak. Soft. A corporate puppet with milk in his veins!”
He jabs a finger into the camera.
SINISTER KLAUS: “And last night, Santa… you found out that SINISTER KLAUS ain’t here to deliver presents. I’m here to deliver PAIN.”
Hans Trapp slams the hook into a crate behind them. Vega jumps.
SLICK RICKY (trying to recover): “Y-yes, well! Last night certainly shocked the—”
Klaus cuts him off, raising his voice to a thunderous growl.
SINISTER KLAUS: “I’m not done, Vega. You see… Santa Claus STILL thinks he’s in this fight. He thinks he’s gonna limp his jolly old carcass into Nightmare at the North Pole… and save the day one more time.”
He sneers.
SINISTER KLAUS: “But that’s NOT happening. Because next weekend? I’m retiring Santa Claus… FOREVER.”
The entire faction steps closer, surrounding the camera like predators.
SINISTER KLAUS: “No more ho-ho-ho. No more sleigh bells. No more miracles. When Nightmare at the North Pole hits… Santa Claus will take his FINAL ride.”
Klaus leans in until only his icy grin fills the frame.
SINISTER KLAUS: “And Grim Tidings will rule this season for the rest of time, brother.”
Fenwick Grimbough claps happily—far too happily.
FENWICK GRIMBOUGH: “We’re gonna carve him up like gingerbread!”
HANS TRAPP (rasping): “And hang the pieces on the tree…”
KNECHT RUPRECHT (growling): “He’s been naughty.”
BELSNICKEL: “VERY naughty.”
Slick Ricky nearly drops his microphone.
SLICK RICKY VEGA: “W-Well! You heard it here, folks—Sinister Klaus and Grim Tidings promising nothing short of Santa Claus’s retirement, destruction, and, uh… seasonal dismemberment at Nightmare at the North Pole!”
He forces a smile and speaks rapidly.
SLICK RICKY: “Back to you at ringside before I get stuffed in that sack!”
The camera rushes away as Grimbough giggles toward it.
HAMMER WASHINGTON: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is our MAIN EVENT of the evening! A massive six-man tag team showdown as Santa Claus, Kris Kringle, and Rudolph unite to take on Sinister Klaus and his dreadful allies Hans Trapp and Knecht Ruprecht! After what happened last night to Santa on Polar Power, tensions are sky-high!”
BRICK BRODY: “Oh absolutely, Hammer. You think Santa’s coming out here to shake hands and kiss babies? No! He wants to crack skulls! Sinister Klaus tried to retire him last night—honestly, I respect it. But Santa’s still breathing, so let’s see if the old man’s got some fight left!”
1st Minute — CHAOS FROM THE START
HAMMER: “Kris Kringle starts it off—and Hans Trapp’s already calling in Ruprecht for a double team! Backbreaker from Trapp! Forearm smashes from Ruprecht! Kringle strikes back with the Frostbite knee!”
BRICK: “Two-on-one? Perfect. Kringle’s older than the concept of plumbing. If he survives this, I’ll be impressed.”
2nd Minute
HAMMER: “Kringle tries The Long Winter suplex—but Hans Trapp slips out! Kringle tags in Santa—and here comes the big man!”
BRICK: “Oh great. Grandpa Claus is in. Someone hide the milk and cookies.”
3rd Minute
HAMMER: “SLEIGH RIDE SLAM! Santa plants Sinister Klaus to the mat!”
BRICK: “Look at Klaus’ face! That slam knocked the peppermint syrup outta him!”
4th Minute
HAMMER: “DOUBLE TEAM by Sinister Klaus and Hans Trapp—bearhug into a torture rack! Santa FIGHTS BACK and hits ANOTHER Sleigh Ride Slam!”
BRICK: “That’s right, Santa—throw your weight around! It’s the one advantage you’ve got!”
5th Minute
HAMMER: “Tinsel Toss! Santa with a huge belly-to-belly suplex! Klaus responds with a Sleigh Ride Lariat! Both men down!”
BRICK: “This is BEAUTIFUL. Two old titans swinging for the fences like it’s a bar brawl in ’82!”
HAMMER: “Santa with a pin—NO! Klaus kicks out!”
6th Minute
HAMMER: “GOOD TIDINGS slap to the head! Klaus is rocked! Santa tags Kringle back in!”
BRICK: “Good—put the muscle back on the bench before he throws a hip!”
7th Minute
HAMMER: “Yuletide Plex from Kringle! That gutwrench suplex nearly folded Sinister Klaus in half!”
BRICK: “Kris Kringle may be old, but he’s BUILT. That’s farm strength. That’s chopping-wood-every-winter strength!”
Kringle tags Santa back in.
8th Minute
HAMMER: “DOWN THE CHIMNEY!! Santa splashes Sinister Klaus! He tries another pin—only one! Santa goes for it again—Klaus escapes!”
BRICK: “Klaus just threw Santa through the ropes! That’s what I like—mean, dirty, no time for holiday spirit!”
Santa struggles back into the ring by the count of four.
9th Minute
HAMMER: “ANOTHER Down the Chimney splash! Sinister Klaus crushed again!”
BRICK: “Klaus is getting pancaked like a gingerbread cookie—this ain't good for him!”
10th Minute
HAMMER: “Santa goes for the JINGLE BELL BUSTER—NO! Klaus neutralizes it and tags in Knecht Ruprecht!”
BRICK: “Yeah! Get the big creepy one in here! Ruprecht looks like he sleeps in a haunted barn.”
11th Minute
HAMMER: “Ruprecht tries a forearm smash—but Santa blocks it! Ruprecht tags out to Hans Trapp!”
BRICK: “Smart. Don’t stand toe-to-toe with Santa unless you wanna be a cautionary tale.”
12th Minute — THE TURNING POINT
HAMMER: “Santa hits the Christmas Cracker DDT! Hans Trapp is down hard—Santa spills to the outside!”
Suddenly, from the crowd—
HAMMER (shocked): “WAIT—WHO—That’s Magnus Blackwell! Magnus Blackwell just STRUCK Santa with his cane! Santa never saw it coming! Honest Abe never saw it!”
BRICK (laughing in disbelief): “Oh THIS is amazing! Magnus Blackwell just took Santa Claus out with a cane shot! Somebody send him a thank-you letter!”
HAMMER: “The ref is counting—Santa’s still down! Kris Kringle and Rudolph can’t reach him!”
BRICK: “Count faster, Abe! COUNT!”
HAMMER: “He’s not moving—EIGHT… NINE… TEN! SANTA IS COUNTED OUT! Hans Trapp wins the match!”
The arena erupts in shock.
Suddenly—the lights turn deep red and orange, flickering like a nuclear sunrise.
At the top of the ramp—
HAMMER: “Oh no… no, no, no… it’s Magnus Blackwell—and he’s brought GRONDAR THE REVENANT!”
The massive undead monster steps forward behind Blackwell as he points his cane directly at Santa, Kris, and Rudolph.
BRICK: “Hammer… Nightmare at the North Pole just got a whole lot nastier. And I LOVE IT.”
HANS TRAPP DEFEATS SANTA CLAUS VIA COUNTOUT at the 12 MINUTE MARK
CLOSING SEGMENT
The camera fades back to the announce desk. The arena is buzzing with aftershock energy—fans still shouting, some cheering Santa’s team, others roaring at the shocking arrival of Magnus Blackwell and Grondar the Revenant.
HAMMER WASHINGTON: “Ladies and gentlemen… what a night we’ve had here on Chill Factor! From top to bottom, an explosive evening of action—and a main event that has sent shockwaves across the entire North Pole Arena! Santa Claus counted out after a vicious, unseen attack from Magnus Blackwell—Grondar appearing for the first time in NPCW… this is chaos heading into Nightmare at the North Pole!”
BRICK BRODY: “Chaos? Hammer, this is the GOOD STUFF. This is the kinda insanity that built this sport! We’ve got demons, revenants, monster hunters, angry monks, wolves losing their minds… and Santa Claus getting whacked by a cane in front of millions! If that doesn’t get you hyped for Nightmare at the North Pole, nothing will!”
HAMMER: “We saw the reunited Merry Band fighting off the Demonic Legion… Mean Jack Mason going the distance with Abaddon… Big Bad Wolf falling to Sir Lancelot thanks to Marcus the Beastmaster… Sandman defeating Prince Charming… and the River Reapers scoring a huge win over the Beasts!”
BRICK: “That’s right! Everyone’s losing their minds, grudges are multiplying, and we’ve got more combustible elements than a fireworks factory! I’m telling you, Hammer—Nightmare at the North Pole is gonna be a two-night disasterpiece.”
HAMMER: “And next weekend—every title on the line, every rivalry coming to a head! Krampus vs. Mason for the Universal Championship! The Champions of Camelot stepping into WARGAMES! Queen of the North Championship on the line! Tag titles! Grudge matches! Surprises! It all happens December 20th and 21st!”
BRICK (pointing at the camera): “You better BE THERE. Because if you miss this show, don’t come cryin’ to me. I don’t do refunds and I don’t do sympathy!”
HAMMER (smiling warmly): “And folks… before we go… tonight marks the final Chill Factor of 2025. What a year it has been here in NPCW—historic moments, unforgettable battles, and the best fans in the world.”
BRICK: “Yeah, yeah, it’s been a year. You all kept the lights on, so good job. Now gear up, because 2026 better be tougher, meaner, and louder—or I’m goin’ home.”
HAMMER (laughs): “We want to thank you fans for joining us each and every week. We’ll be back in January… but next weekend, it’s all eyes on Nightmare at the North Pole. On behalf of Brick Brody, I’m Hammer Washington—goodnight, be safe, and we’ll see you at the Supercard!”
BRICK: “And someone get Santa some ice. He’s gonna need it.”
No comments:
Post a Comment